Homecoming Queen (Such a Shame, Shame, Shame)

No One Really Saw Her

It was late day when Bam finally showed back up at the hotel, Ryan's suitcases stacked up on the bed.

"Bam! Where the hell did you get off to? The flight leaves in an hour." Ryan was positively beaming, his excitement to be going back to Astrid clear on his face. He hadn't changed since last night, his clothes wrinkly and stained from the activities of two days.

"Rikki's place." He answered simply, dragging his own suitcase from under the bed, but hesitating in packing up, Ryan staring at him, mouth agape.

"Dude, you-" Bam frowned and threw his hands in the air, waving them around in his typical, over-exaggerated fashion.

"No, I did not sleep with her, I slept near her. There is a distinction." He shouted, Ryan putting up his hands. "She's different man, grown up and-" Bam stopped short of telling Ryan about that morning. "And I forgot my cell phone over there." Bam tapped his pockets and dug in his coat before groaning, remembering his cell phone sitting on the cracked barstool in Rikki's kitchen, left there after the quiet breakfast they'd shared. It was a quiet goodbye and a wish of luck that parted their ways, Bam exiting her apartment near noon.

"Bam, why do you even have one if you insist on losing the damn thing." Ryan asked, Bam sighing. He offered his hand for Ryan's phone which he handed over. Bam dialed his own number, the phone ringing for two tones before the line picked up.

"Bam's phone, Rikki speakin'."

"Rikki, I obviously forgot my phone there and I gotta get to the airport in like, a half hour, do you think you can run it down here?" Ther was silence on the other end of the line, the hushed squeak of a pair of tennis shoes on tile then the click of a tongue.

"Sure." The answer sounded like she saw the trip as an errand, not a trip out of kindness.

"Thanks, the hilton, penthouse suite, I'll tell them to expect you."

"Okay, see you then I suppose." Halfway across town, Rikki shut Bam's phone, exhaling heavily.

"Sure Bam, I'll bring you the phone, I've been doing a lot of things for the womanizing bastard I'm supposed to hate. Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She slapped herself on the head over and over before flopping in reverse onto the couch, spooking Boss. "Boss, I'm convinced you're the smartest of the two of us, and I've seen you pee because of the vacuum. Come on buddy, we gotta run this phone to the womanizer." Boss barked happily, running into the other room and returning with a ragged green leash. Rikki chuckled and clipped the collar to the leash, collecting her purse and keys before heading out the door, Boss bounding happily behind her. 

Back at the Hilton, Bam was still procrastinating with his packing, much to Ryan's dismay.

"Bam, come on man, I really wanna get back to West Chester I haven't seen Astrid in two months. Not that you know what that's like. What happens if Jenn calls while Rikki has that phone?" Bam paused, he hadn't thought about that.

"Uh, she wouldn't answer that I don't think..." Bam muttered, drawn away from his thoughts by a knock on the door. "Open!" He shouted, Rikki standing in the frame, Boss sniffing her leg and wagging his tail.

"Phone. Oh yeah, some girl named Jenn kept calling, I finally just turned it off. Oh, Hey Ry, I thought you guys had to get out of here. You realize the only flight for two days is leaving in five minutes?" Ryan groaned and ran past Rikki, diving into the elevator. "Okay, bye Ryan." she said, holding out the phone towards Bam. He took it and slid it into his pocket, the two of them looking at one another with awkward smiles and sideways glances.

"Thanks Rikki."

"Not a problem man." Boss was barking and circling the two of them slowly before bolting after a group of kids going down the hall in hopes of being scratched. His leash yanked taut, the coils around Bam and Rikki's feet snapping up around their ankles and pulling them to the ground, Bam landing roughly on top of Rikki, his hands at the sides of her head the only thing keeping them from smashing their foreheads together.

"Boss!" Bam shouted, Rikki looking at her dog who was getting the attention he desired from the children.

"Thank you, you useless canine." Rikki said, looking down at their feet. "Well can you get us untied?"

"If I move my hands we're going to have concussions. can you get it?"

"My hands are currently trapped between our crotches. and I'm unsure as how to move them. Damn it you're heavy." Rikki stated, wiggling her right hand to make a point.

"Okay here's the plan, you call the dog, we'll roll down the hall and untangle our feet."

"So, make a complete and total scene?" Rikki asked, clearly ticked off at the situation. "No thanks."

"Look, your hands are on my crotch and it's puting me in an uncomfortable situation, for the love of god stop moving your hands!" Bam shouted, squirming uncomfortably, Rikki looking at him blankly.

"If you get a boner I'll punch you in it. Is that any incentive?"

"You're a bitch."

"And you're a manwhore." Rikki snapped back, Bam glaring down at her before throwing his weight to the left, rolling the two of them over, Rikki at the top now. "You rolled over me you ass!" Rikki shouted, throwing her own weight in order to return to the original position. Bam smiled and pushed himself up.

"There, was that so hard?"

"Fuck you." Rikki said, sliding her feet out of Boss' leash and calling him over. Ryan was standing in the hall with a grin on his face.

"Okay, you know, I was going to get all pissed that we missed our flight, but that made it all better." Rikki growled and stood up, glaring at Bam, then at Ryan.

"Okay, let me get something in your heads, even though I know this won't work. For the next two days, I don't want to see either of you at Wonderland or my apartment," At this she looked at Bam. "The sooner you guys go home the sooner I get my life back.

"Some life. A shit apartment, a bartending job that requires you dress like a slut on theme night and a crappy car. Oh yeah, and the drunk guys." Bam said, Rikki sneering at him.

"You have a better suggestion Bam? Huh Millionare? You have a suggestion for how I can get out of  the only thing keeping me fed and clothed with a roof over my head? Unlike you, I can't jump some stairs and make a thousand."

"You could have. Had you stuck around long enough for Element to see your skate demo you could have! Do you know how hard it was to explain to them that the skater I'd been shamelessly promoting left two weeks before they signed her? It was hard Rikki. But you'd rather go to Italy because it didn't work out with your little fuck buddy!" Bam shouted, Ryan backing slowly down the hall just as Rikki raised a hand and slapped Bam sharply across the face.

"Fuck off Margera. If I see you again I'm kicking your ass. Oh yeah, you say you want to change your ways? Start by apologizing to the poor girl you're stringing along." With this, Rikki left, Bam holding his stinging cheek, four pinpricks of blood where her nails had caught him.

"Good luck being a paranoid bitch!" Bam shouted, storming into the suite and slamming the door.