Worthy

Chapter Twenty One

We spent the rest of the week exploring the city in small doses. It was unlikely we'd be back anytime soon once we moved and there were a few things we both wanted to see. Thor had found a feature on Google that showed peak visit times for almost everywhere we wanted to go and we were able to plan our outings around them to avoid crowds. Since we were visiting on weekdays during the school year we had lots of options. Taking things slow with one or two hour outings during non peak times alleviated Thor's anxiety and enabled him to actually enjoy himself. By Friday morning Thor was ready to tackle the aquarium. It was the one place that never seemed to have a slow period and would take two hours at least, possibly more, to get through. I still had my reservations about going but he was determined and looking forward to it.

We arrived right when the aquarium opened and had arranged for a backstage tour of the dolphins for an hour later to avoid the first school tour rush. The aquarium was relatively quiet and we walked around hand in hand enjoying watching the schools of tropical fish swim around in the large tanks. I had been to two other aquariums and enjoyed showing Thor my favorites like the jellyfish in their neon lit tanks and the silky manta rays who would glide under your hand for a quick pet. He was completely enamoured with the Oceana tank where dozens of creatures swam around in a mini ecosystem. Sharks, sea turtles, manta rays, and all sorts of fish swam around in perfect harmony. We picked a bench and sat for a long time just enjoying our undisturbed spot; his arm around my waist and my head resting on his shoulder.

Eventually families began to come and go from the exhibit and despite a few very vocal toddlers we stayed put. I noticed Thor was watching a particularly enthusiastic little boy and his father. The man was crouched low explaining all the different creatures to the boy while he bounced up and down, his little blonde curls flying as he moved. Finally the father scooped up the tyke before he could run off and plopped him down on his shoulders. Thor's face was wistful and undeniably sad watching them.

I rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, "You okay?"

Thor blinked, breaking himself from his reverie, "I'm fine."

"I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours"

"I'm not sure I could put it to words."

"Fair enough. I'm here if you want to try though."

"I just wonder if my father ever did things with me when I was that young. Everything with him was about duty, about making me into a king. I wonder if he ever truly saw me as a child. And I wonder if I'll know what to do when we have children. What if I'm useless when the time comes? I cannot put that on you, I won't."

"Whoa, take a breath. That's your anxiety talking. We have lots of time to get you ready before we even think about starting a family. Besides, you take such good care of me, I'm certain you will do the same for our future children. You have the biggest heart, it's what makes you worry about this so much and it's also what will ensure you don't make the same mistakes as your father. We will figure it out together when the time comes, I promise."

Thor took a deep, cleansing breath and nodded. "Thank you. I needed that."

"It's what I'm here for. Now, ready to go see the dolphins up close?"

"Absolutely."

The dolphin tour was just the two of us with the trainer and while we didn't get in the water we were able to sit alongside the pool and pet them. It was relaxing and fun interacting with such personable animals. By the time we had finished with the tour two more school groups had arrived and we chose to make a quick exit since we had seen most of the exhibits anyway.

Thor was rapid fire texting Valkyrie on the way back, sending her pictures of his favorite parts of the trip. He had been doing this all week and apparently she enjoyed seeing the city through his eyes. I was so thankful for her friendship. He needed other people in his life, more than just me. Gradually he was reaching out to others. He had sent emails with his new cell phone number to Korg, Banner, and Clint earlier in the week. All three were happy to have heard from him and reached out. Korg was thrilled to hear from him and had FaceTimed him with Miek who he claimed missed him greatly. Banner was proud of him for starting therapy, he and Hulk had been doing therapy for years and he promised to keep in touch now that Thor had a phone. Thor was hoping to have Clint and his family vacation at Beau Terre with us over the summer but I reminded him that it was a long trip for them and not to start planning anything until Clint confirmed. It was still going to be an ongoing battle for him, but Thor was genuinely healing. I was hopeful that within a few months he would be back to his easy going self, providing there were no set backs. We just had to get through the move and I would be able to truly breathe easier.