❦
You were at the local 24 hour market, buying a few midnight snacks.
This was your daily routine. You hardly ever slept because you are dumb and you have bags under your eyes.
You were reaching up to the top shelf to grab a bag of cheesy potato chips, but it was too high. You almost fell over and grabbed the rail quickly. You tried to grab it once again and felt a hand press against yours. A shiver went down your back. You smelled a manly musk and heard a strong voice grunt in frustration. The man grabbed the bag of chips and handed it to you.
You looked up only to see your favorite man in the universe. Shrek. You stared into his eyes for an unnaturally long time and blushed.
"Omo.... SHREK OPPAR??!"
"What the fuck?" he asked, getting angry.
Then you stared at him again, but suddenly jumped into his arms. He was shocked and just stood there. You placed a nasty wet kiss on his lips, causing him to jolt. He pushed you off of himself. He kicked your knees in and you fell to the ground screaming.
Shrek bit your toe and grabbed the back of your shirt. The man picked you up by the shirt and threw you out the door onto the sidewalk. You tried to get up, you groaned and cried.
"Shrek oppar imnendar???! Why is you are do this to me???????"
He picked you up and dropped you 5 times. He ripped your shirt and spat on your face. He took you to the edge of the road. He curbstomped you. You died.
Fin
❦
