Know This (A Book of Poetry)

All The Beautiful Things You Were

You were gone.

but first....

You were my diary,

the one who I wrote everything on

you were a twin bed for two

and a cheap blanket for one

you were Aladdin sheets

and periwinkle mattress,

you were condoms under the bed,

you were first times

and love

and soft singing against the glow of the television...

and the best goddamn thing that has ever danced upon my life.

You were passion,

love and fighting

and the saliva passing between us,

madly,

madly madly madly falling,

and you were the porous yellow rocks

and we, WE, were on top of the fucking world,

you held my hand and you DRAGGED me to the top.

There are blue skies at the top, with the seared branches of trees

curling

but not quite meeting

the sky.

You were movies unwatched,

lines unremembered,

kisses never had,

places never touched,

things never heard

then you were LUST.

You obliterated all, all all all

in your sweaty, salty search for passion.

You found passion.

You WERE passion,

and unbuttoned pants,

and forbidden places,

and soft black hair

and the softest white skin,

and mouth and teeth and spit.

You were pain,

but you were mostly pleasure.

You were a boy from a fairytale

straight from a cliche book

you were dangerous and intelligent

you were a second look

and you were the screaming of my heart

you were the adrenaline in my veins

the eloquence in a jumble of words

the pattering of rain,

you were the burning laptop movies

stuffed with pillows and

For A Conventional Oven, Bake Pizza at 375

and crumbs, just goddamn everywhere,

crumbs still in the carpet.

But first, you were just a boy.

You were seam-wrecked back-pack,

worn out Converse,

tan skin and long dark hair

and BAD, TAINTED, LOVELY,

you were staples in your skin

and you were piercings,

you were music,

you were energy and testosterone,

you were the secret boy,

and before all of this

I was your secret girl, and I replay it

backwards

backwards

backwards.