Um I'm kinda in love with one of my best friends and have been just lying to myself because I didn't want it to be true
She has a boyfriend I have a boyfriend
Don't get me wrong I still love (but I don't think it's in the way I should) my boyfriend but I think he's moving way to fast like the first day we started dating he said I love you and I did say it back because like what am I supposed to do just stand there and say okay or something
My head hurts my heart hurts I'm confused I hurt and I want to lay down and scream and cry and I need ice cream
I'm also in love with one of my straight friends. She's never even questioned her sexuality once which means I don't have the slightest chance which sucks.
And the worst part about all of this is I just finished 8th grade and I'm going to a completely different high school then everyone I've ever known and I don't even wanna leave them
I'm having a hard time right now if you couldn't tell. I'm freaking out. I don't like feelings I don't know how to handle them I don't know how to process them and I don't know what to do with them
I want to scream every word I shouldn't (my parents are home) and it doesn't help that I'm listening to the only exception THANKS PARAMORE
I'm dying
