i don't know what to say
i don't know what to tell you
i don't know
i'm sorry
i want to make sense
i want to understand
i want to do better
i want to be
someone
anyone
but i am vague
i am the fog in my brain
fickle
faceless
shapeless
senseless
i try
i really do
but this is everything
every little bit of it
every last piece
a shapeless mess
worthless fragments
i'm trying to go through everything
all of it
from the very beginning
to the inevitable now
and i hate it
every part of it
of me
who i was
who i am
who i will be
i want to tear out of it
i want to tear out of my skin
i want out
i want to get out of this coffin
but this is home
this is where i live
and this is where i die
this in-between
and so from every little bit of it
all the shapeless fragments,
i apologize
