Hopeless Place

Chapter 2

The tapping of her fingers against the side of the bed filled the room. Her eyes scanned the page of the book she didn't remember bringing but the words didn't register in her brain. Her mind kept twirling back to Juliana. It was easier to focus on the other girl than to think about the cravings. Her body was asking for mezcal which her mind answered with the image of Juliana smiling. Quite a pleasant image though. Although even that didn't pull her away from the edge. She turned the page and went right back to tapping.

The rest of the day had been filled with "drawing how she felt" and then explaining said drawing. The only reason she even showed up was because she was hoping to see Juliana again. The girl seemed the only thing that could keep her grounded. Unfortunately she hadn't shown up for arts and crafts which left Valentina alone and embarrassed.

She was already sick and tired of this place. Honestly she couldn't imagine a place that was less entertaining. The only thing she could do here was think, think about drinking, think about her family, think about her father being dead.

The book flew through the room and hit the wall opposite her. All she could do was think but every time she allowed herself to think the cravings returned. It felt like an endless loop and all she wanted to do was drink, or perhaps hit someone. Or maybe all she wanted was to be home. But even if that was it a drink would make her feel much more at home in this hellish place.

She was spiraling. The realization came out of nowhere. Maybe she just needed some air. Or perhaps she needed to eat. She always got grumpy when she was hungry. What time did these people have dinner?

She left the room. Her search for anything that could take her mind of things began. Quickly she realized, though, that she didn't know the place very well. She had gone right and left past identical doors for what felt like nearly an hour. But it felt like she hadn't moved from the spot right outside her bedroom door. The panic hit her all at once. Sweat dripping down her forehead, her heart speeding up beyond control, her knees shaking. It seemed as if the walls were trying to trap her, coming closer and closer.

"Hey, hey, don't pass out on me, okay?" She felt hands on her arms, helping her stay up right. Her vision had gone blurry which made it a little more difficult to recognize the girl coming to her rescue. "Okay, keep breathing, focus on my breathing." The girl kept saying.

Valentina tried her best to obey. Breathing in and out calmly.

"Good, perfect."

The more she continued to do as her savior said the more she calmed down. Her heart beat slowed down to a normal pace. After blinking a few times her vision went back to normal. She could finally see who it was that was standing next to her. She could slap herself for not recognizing the girl earlier. "Are you okay?" Juliana asked not letting go of Valentina's arm.

"I think so." She replied. She focused on Juliana's eyes. "I could just really use a drink."

The girl next to her laughed. "I don't think you're the only one, have you seen where you are." She pulled her hands back. "So what are you doing in this part of the building?"

Valentina looked around as if trying to figure out where she actually was. To her this part of the building still looked the same as every other part of the building. "I was looking for something, food." She tried to remember what had led her here, besides the breakdown.

"You haven't been here long, have you?"

"Is it that obvious?" Valentina scratched the back of her neck.

"Well, you went pretty much the opposite direction of the cafeteria and dinner isn't for at least half an hour so you wouldn't have gotten much if you had found it. Are you really hungry?"

"I could eat." She answered a little hesitant. What was the correct answer to such a question?

Again the other girl laughed. "Are you sure? Well, I might have a way to sneak into the kitchens and get you a little snack."

"No, I don't want to get you in trouble." But Juliana completely ignored the comment and grabbed Valentina's hand, dragging her along the different hallways. "I can wait till dinner, I'm serious." Valentina tried again.

"Life is boring when you don't take a few risks. What are they gonna do? Kick us out? Trust me this will be fun and we will be fine."

"Juliana, stop!"

And she did. She stopped very abruptly causing Valentina to run into her.

"If you don't want us to get caught you will have to be a little more quiet." Her hand slowly reached for the door handle in front of them. Her fingers enclosing the piece of metal, pushing it down softly. The door opened, bit by bit it revealed more of the room behind it. With her other hand she dragged Valentina along. The two girls entered the unfamiliar territory. At least it was unfamiliar to Valentina. Juliana led them through the place with ease, hiding behind furniture whenever anyone entered, each time pulling Valentina down with her. Said girl could again feel her heart quicken but this time it felt nice. It wasn't so much panic as it was excitement.

Juliana let go of the other girl's hand for the first time to grab some snacks and drinks out of the different cupboards.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Valentina had been so focused on watching Juliana reach for the top shelf that she hadn't noticed the man entering the room. Now her head turned in his direction. She immediately recognized him as the man of the meeting earlier.

"Run!" Juliana shouted, her arms filled with various junk food as she hurried out of the room. It took Valentina a second to realize what was happening. Once the events had registered in her brain she followed the other girl as fast as she could. The man didn't seem to follow them, still they kept on running just to be sure. They kept on running until they reached a particular light blue door. With her elbow Juliana opened the door. "Welcome to my paradise." She joked as she dropped the snacks on her bed.

"Oh wow, it looks exactly the same as mine." Valentina walked around the room. "Well, just with more stuff, do you have a mini fridge?" She ran to the corner of the room.

"Perk of being here long, they start to pity you."

"How long have you been here?" She joined the other girl on her bed.

"About 3 months, I'm not counting though." Juliana handed her a chocolate bar. "As long as I don't cooperate they won't let me leave."

"So why don't you cooperate?"

"Cause I was waiting for a young and beautiful girl as yourself to show up, of course."

Valentina could feel the rush of blood to her cheeks. Even though she was certain Juliana was joking. She didn't really know how to react, she had never really figured out how to reply to a compliment. "Well, I will do everything they tell me to. The faster I get out of here the better." She decided on. She took a bite of the bar.

Juliana didn't say anything, she just watched Valentina with curious eyes. As if she was trying to look into the other girl's soul. The thought alone was enough to make her nervous.

"I should go." Valentina jumped up suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable under Juliana's stare. She wasn't sure what the girl could read off of her face.

"Well I will see you at dinner, don't forget. Just 20 more minutes."

Valentina nodded and ran out of the room. She had no idea how to get back to her own room but right now she just had to get as far away from Juliana as possible. She hadn't been here for a full day and she could already feel herself unraveling.