Hopeless Place

Chapter 8

Valentina closed her eyes for a second. As beautiful as the sight in front of her was, with her head resting on Juliana's shoulder it was hard to not let the sleep take over. A yawn escaped her lips.

"If I remember correctly, this was all your idea." She could hear the smile in Juliana's voice.

"You don't remember correctly." Valentina mumbled in response and nuzzled closer to the other girl.

"So it wasn't you who said: oh my god, Juls, we should watch the sun come up tomorrow."

She couldn't resist laughing at the high pitched voice Juliana used to imitate her. She forced her eyes back open to look at the girl. How could someone look this perfect at 6 am?

"That was definitely not me."

Juliana turned away from the rising sun and looked at Valentina with an amused grin on her face. She leaned in and kissed her girlfriend's lips.

The past week had been heaven. They had spent every waking moment together, whether it was eating, in therapy or watching movies in Juliana's room. It was during one of the latter that Valentina had thought of the idea to watch the sunrise together. It had appeared like a good idea. It would be romantic, laying in each other's arms while the sun climbed up in the sky. Yet now that she was sitting here all she could think about was wanting to sleep.

The most spectacular part of it all was that during said week she had not spilled the secret of her loaded last name. She had always talked right around that little detail. And Juliana had never asked. She knew that one day she'd have to admit who she was but first she wanted to make sure Juliana liked her for her, she wanted to make sure that revealing this wouldn't ruin everything she had. Because to her it felt like she had abandoned one addiction in favor of the other. No more mezcal as long as Juliana was close to her. She honestly couldn't imagine her life without the girl anymore.

"Should we go back inside so you can get some sleep?" Juliana whispered.

Valentina nodded against the girl's neck. She'd try again tomorrow, she thought. One way or another she knew she could convince Juliana to do this again. Maybe the girl had proven she liked Valentina already.

Juliana pushed herself up and held out her hand for her girlfriend. She helped Valentina off the ground. "Okay, c'mon, miss Carvajal, let's get you back to bed." Juliana laughed.

"What did you say?" Valentina asked, hoping she imagined it. She hadn't told Juliana, she knew she hadn't told her.

"That we should get you back to your bed." Juliana said with a frown on her face.

"You called me miss Carvajal. How do you know my last name? I never told you."

It was in that exact second that Juliana's face gave her away. She realized what she had said and she realized she had made a mistake by saying it. She wasn't supposed to know this, yet she did.

"I must have heard someone call you that." Juliana still tried but the lie didn't stick. Valentina had eyes and now knew that Juliana was hiding something. Tears welled up in her eyes and for the first time all week she felt terrible. She didn't really know whether she was angry or disappointed. Either way it felt like she couldn't breathe.

"I need to..." She wasn't sure how she was going to finish that sentence but she started walking away from the girl.

"Valentina, wait! I can actually explain. Valentina, talk to me." Juliana yelled at her back. Valentina didn't hear it though, the sound of her heartbeat overpowering every other sound. Right now she needed time to think, to clear her mind.

2 hours later she was sitting in the cafeteria, in front of her older sister. Her eyes focused on the table. She didn't know how to start begging but she needed to be heard. She needed Eva to get her out of here because there was no way in hell or hogwarts that she was willing to sit through another meal or therapy session with a girl who had lied to her.

Maybe she had channeled her sadness into anger. What did it really matter how exactly she felt? She knew she couldn't look into those beautiful brown eyes without feeling worse than she did before she entered this building. Being near Juliana wouldn't help her get better, it would only make it worse.

The only explanation was that Juliana had known from the get go and had only helped her because she knew. Because she hoped to some day enjoy her wealth. How could she have been so blind to not see the girl's intentions?

"Vale, you called me, panicking 2 hours ago. I'm here now, what was so urgent?" Eva was the first to break the silence.

"Something happened in here and I... I can't stay. I don't care if you put me somewhere else or you take me home or I don't know, I just can't stay here. Please, Eva..."

"What happened?" Eva replied but her eyes showed the worry Valentina had been hoping for. Eva had started making up stories to fill in the many blanks Valentina had left and whatever story the woman had thought of Valentina would use it. Anything to get her out of here.

So she didn't reply with words. She just shook her head and avoided eye contact.

"Okay, pack your stuff, I'll get everything ready and wait for you in the entrance." Eva sighed.

The chair made an unbearable noise when Eva pushed it back. She walked out quickly.

"You can't be serious. Valentina, you can't leave." Juliana's voice sounded. The girl stood where Eva had disappeared out of sight.

Valentina didn't reply, just walked past the girl to her room. Juls followed her, continuing to repeat that Valentina couldn't just leave and that she could explain everything if only she'd listen. It was when she stood in the doorway and watched the love of her life throw her clothes in her bag that she panicked enough to let go of her secret. She had nothing to lose because Valentina hated her already.

Once the words had left her mouth Valentina stopped moving. Her arm hanging above her bag, still holding a t-shirt. Suddenly nothing made sense anymore. This couldn't be true, right? Cause if it was she didn't know where to run to, she didn't know where she could possibly hide.

She turned around and looked at Juliana, hoping to find some kind of clue that all of this was a lie, a sick joke. But all she saw was sincerity. Valentina knew the girl wasn't lying. She knew it, deep within herself. The problem was that the truth was much scarier. The words repeated in her head, again and again and again. They'd haunt her.

Her knees started shaking and she could feel herself falling. Juliana ran up to her asking if she was okay. But all she could hear were the words.

Eva paid me.