Chapter 17 – A Wild Ride
Chapter Notes: In which Chris and Darren go au naturel…
…
Chris and Darren had a much easier time getting out of Snow White’s palace than they’d had getting in. Still disguised as maids, they simply walked through the front gates, and headed out into the darkness of the surrounding forest.
Once they were out of sight of the guards, they found a small clearing in the woods and built a fire. Even in the middle of summer, nighttime in the Northern Kingdom was chilly. Leaving the borrowed dresses on, Chris and Darren draped their own wet clothes over nearby bushes, hoping they’d be dry by morning.
Chris pulled the woolen blanket out of their sheepskin satchel. To his surprise and delight, it wasn’t even damp. “Wow,” he said. “This bag Froggy gave us must be waterproof.”
“Well, he is a frog. I bet he spends a lot of time in the water.”
“Hmmm…. I never thought of that. In my book, I had him do plenty of jumping, but no swimming. I guess I’ll have to let him show off his aquatic skills in the sequel.”
“Yeah. And he must have an amazing tongue, too. You could have him whip it out and snag things from ten feet away.”
“Now that would be disturbing.”
“Not gross things. Just, like, a cupcake, or something.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You wanna know what I can do with my tongue?”
“Not particularly.”
“I can tie a maraschino cherry stem in a knot.”
“Of course you can.”
“Hey,” Darren said, sounding somewhat indignant at Chris’s lack of enthusiasm. “I’ll have you know that’s a sure-fire way of impressing people in bars.”
“Yes, well, maybe the sort of people who hang out in bars watching cherry-stem Tongue Olympics aren’t all that worth impressing.”
“Hmph.”
Noticing that Darren actually looked a little crestfallen, Chris wrapped an arm around his friend. “I’m sure your skills are very impressive,” he conceded. “As soon as we get home, I’ll let you take me out and show me. Okay?”
Darren’s face immediately broke into a wide grin. “Deal.”
…
The following morning, after changing back into their own (thankfully dry) clothes, Chris and Darren left the borrowed maids’ outfits hanging on a tree branch alongside the main road to the palace, where they hoped someone would find them and return them. Then they headed west, toward the Dwarf Forests.
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The Land of Stories: Gleefully Ever After
FanfictionChris Colfer, bestselling author of The Land of Stories, finds himself (along with Darren Criss, who is unwittingly responsible for this perplexing state of affairs) transported into the world of his imagination…with a few Gleeful differences.
