Authors Note: Please comment and vote. I am sorry that I didn't upload last week I just had a lot of things on my mind and then I simply forgot.Disclaimer: Sadly, neither Shonda nor ABC have bothered to give me the show which leads to me still not owning a thing...
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I was never aware of all those things I had. I was never aware of how important it was for me to feel my legs. I was not aware of the fact that this privilege could just be taken away from me within such a short time. I could have never imagined this. I had lost things before. I had lost my sister. I had lost one of my best friends. And I had also lost my mother who I never really had in the first place. But this was totally different. Because I would be reminded of this nonstop. It's not that I never think about Lexi or George but I could always forget about them just for a short amount of time while in the OR or having sex with Derek. But these were both things that I couldn't do anymore. Surely there were other ways for me and Derek to have our "fun" but we would definitely have to wait until my spinal injury was fully healed and it wouldn't be the same either, it probably wouldn't be as great.
-Meredith Grey
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In the past month, Meredith had watched more TV than in the rest of her whole entire life. She was bored, she had never really pulled a sick day not because she was never sick but because her mother wouldn't have wanted to stay home for her. And Meredith was already a disappointment to her so she did anything trying to please her mother. Ellis herself worked 48-hour shifts with a fever of over 105ºF. She thought that was the only way to become extraordinary and it must have worked out for her because the award-winning women who coincidentally lived under the same roof as Meredith did become one of the best-known female surgeons in the world.
Meredith didn't really have anything to do but to lay in a hospital bed all day and that was not all that entertaining. So she was really happy when Bailey finally entered the room with her discharge papers followed by Derek with a wheelchair.
"Ready to go home Grey?" Bailey asked.
"Yes, finally," Meredith replied with a kind of annoyed sounding voice.
At this Derek rolled his eyes and then offered to her: "Do you want me to help you?" Meredith didn't like being dependent on others but since she could not move or feel her legs it was kind of hard for her to get up.
"I think so," she said just happy to actually be able to leave this room for more than ten minutes at a time.
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"I don't know what but I feel like we forgot something," Derek said while pulling up into the driveway.
"The feeling in my legs is what we forgot," Meredith replied sarcastically.
After Derek had helped her from the car seat into her wheelchair and broad her up to the front door. He suddenly realized what he forgot, "I'm so sorry Mer, I didn't think about this..." "About what?" Meredith asked confused but as Derek opened the door she knew what he was talking about. There was simply no way for her to come up the stairs into their bedroom.
"I'll get someone to find a solution to this okay?" Derek told her.
"Yeah, I think I'm just going to stay on the sofa tonight," Meredith said tiredly.
"No, I'll bring you upstairs, you just had major surgery you shouldn't be staying on the couch," Derek replied.
"I'm fine Derek really it's not such a big deal, I mean it's not like my legs could become sore or anything," she said annoyed.
"Mer, please it's not good for your physical therapy sessions if your muscles are stiff and not flexible."
"Derek I'm not flexible, did you forget?" Meredith now joked thinking of a conversation they had a few years back before all these things happened before she knew about Addison and before he found out about her mother's Alzheimer's.
"Don't try to avoid this subject it's important," Derek tried to stay serious but wasn't able to suppress a small chuckle.
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Meredith was sitting on the toilet lid brushing her teeth it didn't take long for her to give in. Derek was right she shouldn't be staying on the sofa but only because she knew that it didn't mean that she had to accept it. It didn't feel real to her just yet. She wasn't ready to face the fact that she might never walk again and will always be dependent on a wheelchair and also on other people. This was the hardest part for her since she had always done everything on her own. Her mother had never even bothered to help her with her homework not even to talk about things like science projects. Meredith was raised to be independent so how should she of all people now suddenly adapt to having to ask for help?
This whole situation wasn't easy on Derek either. The last time that she didn't work for such a long time was when she gave Thatcher a part of her liver but back then they still knew that she would come back and although Derek was sure that she would come back this time as well he knew that she had already given up on this the day she had awaken from the coma."
"Ready to go to bed?" He asked entering the bathroom.
"I think so," Meredith replied while being picked up by Derek.
He laid her down on the bed and before he was able to ask her if she needed anything else she was already sound asleep. He lay there for hours just watching her and listening to that sweet snoring.
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When his alarm went off in the morning he hurried to shut it up so it wouldn't wake his still sleeping wife. But he realized he had been too slow when he was faced with a beautiful pair of eyes looking right through his own.
"What time is it?" She asked sleepily.
"5:30, I'm sorry I forgot to turn it off," Derek told her.
"It's fine I've already slept enough for the next ten years," said Meredith yawning.
Derek let out a small chuckle knowing his wife just too well, which is why he exactly knew the answer to the next question he would ask: "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," Meredith said gaining a suspicious look from Derek.
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It was half-past twelve pm when Derek wheeled Meredith to his car to bring her to her pt session.
Just as he wanted to pull out onto the street Meredith screamed: "Wait, I can't do this I'm too scared!"
Derek hoped it was only a momentary thing but with every second passing, she became more anxious. "Shh, it's going to be all right, I'm here now. This isn't going to happen again. I promise," Derek tried to calm her as she now started sobbing harder.
"I don't get it. Why is the universe so screwed up? What did I do so wrong in life that I deserve all this? I just want to be happy for once. I want to have a normal life like everyone else gets to have. But instead, I got a mother who didn't even bother to come to my graduation which is why I was scared of letting my other family into my life until it was too late, until they all died. And then us being in a plane crash seeing how my sister takes her last breath which is why I'm scared of flying now. And now I can't even be in a car anymore without having a freaking panic attack!" Meredith now shouted.
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I've noticed that I mainly write about the feelings of the characters and keep referring to the past a lot and therefore don't do that much storytelling. Should I continue this way or do it differently?
Please leave your opinion and don't forget to vote/favor also if you have any specific idea of what you want to happen please leave it as well or sent me a personal message. I have finished the main storyline bout as I said before I might want to do more storytelling but don't have so many ideas... ‡ )
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What we should just say
FanfictionGrey's Anatomy AU/FanFiction We often don't know what we have until it is suddenly gone. What happens when Meredith gets hurt in a horrific car accident? Will she ever recover and be able to go back to her old life or will she end up paralyzed in a...