30 days to live | lashton | {ON HOLD}

[3] #1 Being Truthful

Ashton's POV

#1 Stop Lying

i tried to put off this day for as long as i could. i didn't want to tell my secret. i felt insecure, i felt as if no one would look at me the same once the truth comes out. so here it is, they day where i put aside my feelings and thoughts and finally let it out. ready or not, here we go.

"Ashton! Your friends are here darling" my Mother's voice called from downstairs. i gulped, as i looked at myself one last time before i made the ever so long walk downstairs. my head was surrounded with different thoughts.

what if they hated me?

what if they never wanted to see me?

what if they judged me?

what if...?

i stopped, my heart raced as i came closer to the bottom of the stairs. there i heard my three friends laughing and messing around with each other. man, they made this too damn difficult. 

i sighed before entering the room. i'm ready, let's do this. i felt regret for telling them at first but i was scared, i was. aren't we all.

"Ashton!" Michael beamed as he ran and embraced me.

"Where have you been mate? It's been ages" Calum teased as he hugged me.

"Sorry lads" i tried to respond but their bone crushing hugs prevented me from it. I looked up and saw Luke. 

'Hi Luke" i whispered, as i stared at my shoes. He was going to be the worst, once i told him. i knew this from the beginning. 

"ASHTON IRWIN! WHAT THE HELL?! IT'S BEEN WEEKS. NO CALLS, NO TEXTS?! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU?" he screamed.

i knew this was going to be bad, i just didn't know it would be this bad.i instantly regretted inviting them over, maybe it'd just be better if i ran and hid in my room for the next thirty days. maybe, just maybe.

"HELLO?! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" 

oh right. he was yelling at me. how could i let my thoughts distract me from someone i love. weird...

"ASHTON!" he yelled. i looked up and maybe i shouldn't have he was fuming. raging mad, guess i really pissed him off.

"Ash..." Michael nudged me.

I looked up at him again, and saw his eyes soften. "Sorry for screaming but you scared us Ash, you scared me. I thought you had died or something..."

how ironic... i am Luke.

"oh..." i mumbled, as he embraced me tightly.

"i love you Ash, please don't scare us ever again" he mumbled.

"don't worry Luke, anyway.... i called you guys because i have to tell you guys something" i mumbled, as Luke pulled away. His eyes stared at mine before he responded.

"what is it?"

"take a seat" i sighed.

"wait.... you're not breaking up with me are you?' Luke asked, as i saw him panic.

i chuckled slightly, before responding; "No Lucas, i'm not" i shook my head before continuing; "it;s something i've wanted to tell you for awhile now but i didn't know how to say it but i guess.... it's important" 

"what is it?" Calum asked, as he sat down along with Michael.

i sighed as i looked at all three of them before taking a deep breath, "i'm dying" 

~

sorry it took me forever to write. i apologize. i hope you liked it. i haven't done any editing to it yet, so sorry for any mistakes. i hope you liked it.

see you guys next time :)