Tiny Dancer

🚫{oo3}🚫

(A/N: TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER.)
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"Lyss?" I heard a deep voice shaking me from my dream world.

"Mmm." I groaned rolling over trying desperately to grasp the last wisps of sleep as they distant.

"Lyssa. Come on. You promised a talk today." It rumbled.

"No." I grumbled.

"Yes you did." He laughed.

"Opie, I swear to god. I will bite you if you don't leave me alone." I grumbled glaring at him before throwing the covers over my head.

"See, you always used to say that. Now get up." He tugged the covers off my head.

"You're a prick you know that?" I told him finally sitting up.

"Yep. Let's go. We're gonna go for a drive." He told me.

"Get out." I mumbled not moving from my spot under the covers.

"Are you actually gonna get up?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"As much as I don't want to yes. I will." I told him sighing.

"Okay." He replied and stepped out of my bedroom shutting the door.

I go out of bed and took off my tank top and panties, getting into a new bra and panties before slipping on a pair of track pants and a tank top. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and walked out of my room. I headed downstairs where Opie held out a steaming diner cup to me. "Figured you'd want a tea." He shrugged as I took the cup from him.

"You remembered. Even after eighteen years?" I asked surprised that he remembered I don't like coffee.

Opie shrugged and nodded. Des from the other side of the kitchen island smiled and winked at me. "Ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded. He waved to Des and so did I before we headed out the door. I stopped when I saw what he was driving. "You still have this thing?" I asked bewildered.

"Of course I do." He replied patted the hood of the yellowish colored truck.

I smiled but shook my head and jumped in. He started the truck and we were off. The ride was silent between us except for the low rumble of the engine and the soft music from the radio. I sipped my tea and watched out the window as we drove.

Eventually, Opie pulled off the road at a park and we got out. He gestured for me to follow him and he led us to a secluded picnic table under a large tree. "So..." I started off awkwardly looking around.

"Alyssa..." He said getting my attention.

"What?" I asked.

"We have to do this... If we ever want to move forward. We have to." He told me.

👼 Mentions of Infant Loss / Miscarriage in next paragraph. Proceed with caution. 👼

I finally snapped. "Yeah, well tell me where would you like to begin? The day we found out she had no heartbeat? Oh! No, maybe you wanna start on the day I was forced to go through fifteen hours of labor, just to give birth to a baby I couldn't bring home and watch grow up? Or! Do you wanna discuss having to see a lactation consultant about how to get rid of the milk that still filled my breasts for a baby who would never drink it! Oh wait! Better yet, how about the day I had to pick up OUR daughters ashes, BY MYSELF! All because you were 'busy'!" I broke down.

I began sobbing after I finally let that out and I saw Opie visibly wince at my every sentence. I covered my face with my hands and bawled. I heard him get up and he came to sit beside me. But, when he wrapped his arms around me I pushed him away.

He wouldn't let up though, not matter what I tried he refused to stop until I finally just let him hold me as we cried together. It took what felt like hours before I stopped crying and moved away to look at him. "I'm sorry Opie." I mumbled, my voice hoarse.

"Don't be sorry Alyssa... I'm sorry I wasn't there... I should have been there with you. I should have stayed with you and helped you through all of it. Instead, I stayed at the clubhouse, I took extra runs as much as everyone tried to stop me. What I did was wrong Lyss... I should have been with you."

"Yeah... You should've been. We were supposed to be in this together Opie. But, I understand too... This wasn't just a loss to me. She was your daughter too. I know you felt just as much pain as I did. You just dealt with it your way." I told him softly.

"I did... But I did it wrong... I found another woman, and after you left I was so angry. Angry at you, angry at myself. I was so angry with you at one point, I said some really horrible thing and both your dad and Jax took me for a few rounds in the ring..."

"I was angry with you too Opie. I'm not gonna say I didn't say some horrible things about you myself. Only, everyone I told agreed with me..."

"I want to visit her with you Lyssa... I haven't been able to go out there since we buried her." He told me looking off into space.

"Well, we didn't bury all of her." I mumbled. "I've had this for you for the last eighteen years... To be honest for a long time I didn't think you'd want it. But I have a matching one." I pulled his from my pocket and pull mine out from under my shirt.

They were necklaces that held a small bit of her ashes in them. I handed Opie the small box and he opened it. I had her name and birth date engraved on a small dog tag on the chain with it. It read;

Caylee Marie Winston
02. 16. 1997

He tugged it from the box and held the cool metal in his palm and took a deep breath. "Let's go down to the cemetery and see her." I told him softly laying my hand on his shoulder.

He nodded and stood up taking my hand and helping me up as well. We walked silently to the truck Opie still keeping a tight grip on my hand until we had to get in. Once we were in he took my hand again and would not let go. We drove to the cemetery in a peaceful silence. When we got there, we both took deep breaths and looked at one another. "We can do this." Opie told me softly squeezing my hand gently.

"Yes we can." I agreed nodding in determination.