[Discontinued] Solby | Let Me Love You

3.

hi, it's four am and i can't sleep so here's an update for y'all lovelies

• • •

The night finds the sky but Sam and Colby find no sleep.

The curtain is pulled back a bit, allowing a sliver of the moonlight to pour into their bedroom. Clinging onto his blonde love, Colby keeps his eyes on the plain white ceiling. It's flawless, not even one crack, yet his eyes wander as though they were looking for one. Nothing can be perfect.

Sam, puffing out soft, steady breaths, uses his index finger to trace light circles on Colby's bare skin. Eyes shut, thoughts swirling in his mind, he breathes in deeply. Colby smells of their coconut shower gel mixed in with the scent of freshly washed bedsheet.

The silence is comfortable, almost needed, but knowing that they're both awake, Colby feels the need to speak up.

"Confession."

Sam nearly jumps at the murmur, eyes flying open and slowly adjusting to the darkness. Once they do, he looks up at his lover, caring gaze full of curiosity, "Shoot."

Colby allows a grin to grace his lips, it's no secret that he could confess anything to Sam, the blonde is always all ears.

So he blurts out, "I'm scared."

Sam perks up at that, head tilted to the side, eyebrows drawing together, "Of what ?"

Colby sighs quietly, "This," He whispers, hand gesturing to the room but Sam knows it's hinting at something bigger, "As much as I love the fact that we're living together, just the two of us, I'm not a fan of being by myself whenever you leave."

Sam processes the words, nods and snuggles deeper into his boyfriend's hold, "That's understandable, babe. Your fear is understandable, but just know that I wouldn't leave you alone if you don't want me to, yeah ?"

"I know that," Colby chuckles fondly. He slides slightly down the bed and lets go of Sam before rolling onto his side to face him. Their eyes meet, blue orbs bright in the dark, "But you know how I get."

Nodding, Sam hums affirmatively. He scoots closer, one hand resting on Colby's hip and thumb delicately stroking the bare skin above the waistband of his sweatpants. He knows Colby isn't done talking yet, so he remains silent, waiting and encouraging.

"Sometimes, I wonder why you've stuck around," Colby suddenly admits, before continuing when Sam opens his mouth to protest, "And I know what you're gonna tell me. You love me and I'm the most important to you, you tell me all the time," He mutters in a breathy laugh, eyes crinkling happily, yet his voice holds a rather sorrowful undertone, "But... It's still hard to believe, when for so long, you were with Katrina and you looked genuinely happy with her, yet look at where you two are right now."

Surprise paints Sam's face as his lips part. The pair has spent hours, days even conversing yet not even once has the brown-haired girl come up in a conversation in that way. To Sam, it never seemed necessary, simply because he and Katrina broke up and he's dating Colby now. And to be completely honest, Colby - albeit unaware - has Sam tightly wrapped around his finger.

"Babe..." Sam sighs sadly, gaze soft, so soft it makes Colby's heart flutter. His fingers comb through the brunet's wild, curly hair as he speaks quietly, "Why have you never talked to me about that ?"

"'Cause it's stupid," With no hesitation, Colby replies, eyebrows furrowing in thought.

"It's not," Sam retorts, "Especially since you obviously think about it a lot. I don't want it to bother your pretty little mind so much."

Plump lips curl into a small smile. Colby allows his eyelids to droop shut, forehead pressing against Sam's.

"Kat and I aren't together anymore, you and I are, and you've got nothing to worry about," Sam tries to reassure, but it's clearly in vain, seeing as Colby doesn't seem convinced, "Talk to me. Don't keep it all to yourself."

Silence welcomes his words. It leaves time for the both of them to think, to process. They're quiet for a while, stares locked with each other, fingers intertwining securely. The moon is still sneaking in, bringing light to the two loving forms beneath the covers. Its shine emanates a sort of safety, the comfort Colby finds himself craving more than he'd like to admit.

"I'm scared," He repeats, reiterates as though he wants to make sure Sam doesn't forget, "I might even be paranoid, I don't know. Or maybe I just love you too much. Or probably both," He takes a deep breath in, "I just get... insecure, I guess."

A small chuckle, devoid of actual humor, escapes Sam, "Colbs, humans are insecure and-"

"No, I mean," Colby cuts him off, smiling apologetically afterward, "I get insecure about my ability to keep you around."

In a split seconds Sam's arms find their way around Colby's waist to pull him closer, chin atop the brunet's head, grip gentle around his lover, "You shouldn't. You're the only one I got my eyes on. I mean, you're absolutely gorgeous and one of the best people I've ever had the chance to know, how could I even think about someone else ?"

A soft sleepy giggle comes from Colby as he hides his face in the crook of Sam's neck, gripping onto the blonde's shirt, "You're not too bad yourself," He teases giddily.

"Anw man, I would hope so," Sam says with a wide grin, "You know, it's hard being a six dating a ten, I'm glad my personality can balance that all out."

Colby instantly pulls away, propping himself up on one hand while staring don at Sam with shocked eyes, "You think you're a six ? Are you kidding ?"

"I mean, maybe I can go up to a-"

"Samuel, you're a fucking ten and you can't convince me otherwise," Colby states, confidently, then he throws his arms around Sam's neck, engulfing him in a hug, "My boyfriend's the prettiest."

"You're not wrong," Sam says smugly. A playful gasp is the response he gets, but he just laughs, pressing his lips to the top of Colby's head tenderly, "But seriously. Don't ever doubt my love for you. Don't ever doubt your 'ability to keep me around', all you have to do is be you. And give me cuddles. Lots of cuddles."

"As if I hadn't planned on doing that already."

Sam tsks and smiles, "You better."

And he does.

And perhaps, they don't immediately fall asleep, but the stars watch over them while they talk some more and there's nowhere else they'd want to be, and the reminder that it's their first night at their apartment floats in the air like a gentle tune, filling their hearts with sweet euphoria.