a girl like you - trixya

22.

(Song of the chapter: History- Daniel Hart)

Today's the day I've been dreading. Graduation. Katya's graduation. I woke up with her snuggled into my arms as usual, but today felt different, something was off. She stirred lightly in my arms and I could feel her blonde hair brush gently over my bare shoulder. She turned her head to look at me and smiled sleepily. "Hey you" she whispered, her voice still thick with sleep. I smiled down at her and ran my hand over her back, as she liked. "Are you excited for today?" I asked and she groaned in response "ugh no! It makes me feel old, I don't want to be old or grow up! Grown ups suck shit." She frowned, scrunching up her nose. I giggled, "you'll never be old to me" I whispered into her ear and she smiled up at me, her eyes shining as usual.

We got ready in Katya's bathroom, each applying our signature makeup and slipping into our dresses. I had decided on a pink floral dress the was tight around my chest, then flared out around the bottom. Katya was wearing a tight red bodycon dress which immediately made me want to tear it right off her, the dress hugged her in all the right places and showed off her athletic body. But today she paired the dress with a graduation cap and gown. As she came out of the bathroom fully dressed, I took her in, looking her up and down, my eyes instantaneously filling with tears. I smiled up at her through my blurred eyes and Katya rushed towards me, taking me in her arms. "Hey, hey, baby" she cooed, "what's wrong?" I giggled through my tears, honestly the cap and the gown and the whole of today was just a painful reminder of her upcoming leaving, but I swallowed my sorrows and lied through my teeth and tears; "I'm just so proud and happy for you Katya. You did it, you graduated!" She laughed and squeezed me into a hug, then when seeing the time on her watch she squealed, "come on Trix, we've got to hurry, you don't want to miss me graduating." I laughed and followed behind her as she pulled me by my hand downstairs.

The graduation was sweet, nothing crazy or dramatic like in the movies, but it was nice. Katya was beaming the whole time and I swear my heart jumped up into my throat when she bounced across the stage. Her eyes were wide and filled with happiness and her red lips framed her grinning white teeth. She was glowing, practically radiating happiness. Her eyes caught mine and her impossibly large smile widened even further. It was a perfect moment, the kind of one you wish you could frame and keep forever on your mantlepiece.

But you can't. That's just not the way that life works.

Katya and I broke up a few weeks after her graduation and a week before she left for New York. It was Katya who brought it up, but we decided that it would be for the best. It wasn't dramatic. There was no screaming or pleading, we simply sat there holding hands and whispering to each other, our cheeks tracked with tears and our hearts heavy and breaking. I didn't believe in heartbreak but on that day, I felt my heart shatter irreparably into millions of pieces.

Katya left and it broke me, but I'm pretty sure it broke her too. Sometimes I lie awake at night remembering her bright blue eyes, her red lips, her blonde hair that I would tangle my hands into. I saw her in everything; the stars, the flowers, the rain- everything. I'm sure Katya took New York by storm. I didn't keep up with her much; we'd decided it would be best to not contact each other, so the most I saw was an occasional Instagram picture or a status update. She seemed happy. I hope she was.

Losing her was hard, but God, I felt lucky to have had her.