The fact that you're still with him is gross. From what you've told me before hes a liar and a cheat. So why do you even bother?
You've talked to me about so much shit and
You just, ran back.
I didnt expect that. The thing I expected was for you to get with Sam or smthn. Yall seem super close.
But I least expected you to run back to him.
It's so dumb.
I'm not going to be there the next time you need to vent about him.
I'm sick of it.
I've tried to talk to you about some problems I've had, and they were little ones, just about performance anxiety; and you completely ignored me. You just
Left me on read.
That's ALL you do.
What's funniest of all is the only time you've EVER sent a message first was yesterday, and I responded immediately.
But you just
Ignored me
I'm sick of it
I'm NOT here just so you can make yourself feel better.
I'm done.
I wish I had any more patience to give, but unfortunately I've run out.
5 years of this charade.
5
Fucking
Years
Of me giving my support in your times of crisis.
5 years
Of me existing, only to be the stilts that keep you from what you consider "despair".
I'm not an asset to your mental health, and you could clearly do without me
Its unfortunate that I dont have the balls yet to completely block you out yet.
Theres still one person I DEFINITELY need to speak to about this.
But just like you they dont even bother to reply.
It's almost pointless to be connected to you two.
But at least they dont only talk to me when they need to feel good about themself. They talk to me whenever they wanna chat and catch up.
That's all I want in a friend.
But you're completely emotion driven. While it is a good thing to express yourself, you do it so clearly that you end up hurting your own anterouge.
It's not fair that I have to keep holding you on your pedestal.
Fuck it.
I'll just let you crash down.
Someone else will pick up the pieces.
And rather quickly as well.
I wish I could just erase you from my memory.
Its annoying that only I remeber these fond memories.
When we first met we were literally kids, and we were so excited and scared because it's the first time we actually called.
I hid in my closet because I didnt want my family to see I was hanging out with someone. But we stayed on mute for 20 minutes just daring each other to press unite. I ended up caving in and pressing it, and we both finally heard each others voice. All I can remember after that is feeling so happy that I finally have a friend.
I had no friends in California, i never talked to anyone outside of my house either. So being able to finally hang out with you was just a miracle.
It gave me that feeling, when I was in kindergarten and I made my very first friend.
We were on the phone for over 8 hours that night, and I even remember watching the sun rise too.
I also remember when we called, and it was 1 am. So I went outside to talk. That's when you showed me what music you were into. And even today I listen to some of that music and think about our memories.
We've made some pretty fucking good inside jokes too.
And I even remember Taylor telling me tou had a crush on me at one point
That was a pretty wild thing to hear.
Am I wrong to hold onto these memories?
Out of the two of us, why am I the only one who's trying to keep our friendship together?
Why do I have to be the one that is constantly supporting you?
You have so many people.
So why would you even NOTICE when I finally cut you off.
I just.
Dont understand.
I dont understand why I'm feeling guilty, or why I'm feeling such betrayal.
Is this what people refer to when they say emotional damage?
Do you ignore me and despise me because you have new friends?
Or
Have you always been like this, and I've just been seeing through rose coloured glasses?
