S P L I T

The Aftermath

Zonnique.

After my break down in the middle of the street,  Chres decided to take me to his house,  but all I could think about was Bre… Breezy, Bre Bear… Sunshine… my ray of sunshine… once I saw that white sheet I completely shut down… she's gone and so was her unborn daughter,  my niece… I stared out the window and thought about everything. This morning when I called her out about her pregnancy ,  that was supposed to be a secret,  but of course blabbermouth blu can't shut the fuck up, when I ditched her every week because of a hangover… I hated my life as of now… a life without Bre,  was a living hell.

"Hey… Niquey… " Chres said , shaking me out of my train of thoughts. I just looked at him and started biting my nails,  I didn't wanna have small talk I just wanted to sit in a steaming hot shower to wash the pain away.

"We're here… " he said softly,  he just got out and walked into the Apartment Complex,  leaving me in the silent car… thinking… tears streaming down my face.

"Goddamn It… why me… why" I mumbled out,  my voice was shaking and so was my body… my whole fucking body.  I got out the car and started walking down to the local liquor store,  pale lights were plastered all over the ceiling,  I walked up to the light skinned man at the counter.  "Whole bottle of vodka please. " I mumbled,  just looking at my red nails,  that Bre painted.

"how old are you? " the man asked licking his lips,  including that black cut beard on his chin.

"just give me the fucking bottle man. " I snapped,  pulling out my 10 dollars slapping it on the counter,  filled with different stickers.

"Alright, alright.. " he threw his hands up,  and handed me the bottle .I stared at him for a while and walked off popping the top and taking my first swig of the strong,  yet tasteful drink . I walked back to the Apartment and knocked on chres' door softly,  since I was a little tipsy I thought it was louder .

"Chresanto open the fucking door,  damnit! " I screeched.

He swung the door open with bloodshot eyes,  Bre was Chres' stepsister,  they were close and now that she was dead... he had no family.

"Get the hell in here. " he looked at me in disgust,  and grabbed my arm snatching me inside. 

"Ow! " I giggled

He snatched the bottle out of my hand and threw it across the room causing it to break,  I jumped slightly.

"Fuck is wrong with you!? " he shouted

"Fuck is wrong with you!? " I repeated pushing him away.

"Zonnique!  You're… " he started

"eighteen! " I shouted,  walking away.

"still in highschool.. " he said blankly.

I felt myself tear up once again,  my eyes burnt and my breathing quicken… that was another sensitive subject I hate talking about. 

"You dropped out!  at least my ass is still fucking trying!  what the fuck are you doing besides living off that skank bitch you call a girlfriend !? Don't ever  in yo god giving life bring up. my fucking education ! As long as I live! " I stomped into the bathroom,  slamming the door. I turned on the shower and didn't bother taking off any clothes,  I just laid there and let the steaming hot water hit me as I sobbed loudly.

everything went downhill for me.

I wanted to end my life.

I wanted to die.