Lay me Down to Sleep

Chapter 2

  I'm sitting in church and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. The pastor is talking about how sinful premarital sex is. I know everyone in this room views me as some kind of harlot.
  My mother next to me though is enjoying all the attention. She loves when eyes are on us. Whenever people look down on me they pity her. People think she's some poor Christian widow who was cursed to have me as a daughter. I wish I wasn't some pack floosie but, my mom is constantly pressuring me to trap a rich powerful man so she can live comfortably and when I try to refuse she tells me about how it's a sin to disobey your parents.
  It feels like all I ever do is sin. My mom tells me that I'm going to hell and at this rate she's probably right. I'm sure that everyone in this room believes I'm going to hell too.
  Eventually service comes to an end and I stay behind to help make sure everything is clean and in running order. I enjoy helping the church, but I don't miss the way the priest and nuns glare at me. I do kind of wish I wasn't the only person to stay behind and help out. Nevertheless I straighten to prayer booklets and sweep the aisles.
  Once I'm done in the church it's already five in the afternoon. I decide to go to Dr. Azur's office to see if she needs anything. After everything that happened me and she grew quite close. She's such a kind matronly woman and exudes so much warmth. It's truly a pleasure to be around her.
  When I walk into her clinic she's sitting at the front desk waiting for a patient. She looks up at the chime of the bell when I open the door. She smiles as soon as she sees me. Her smile is truly something heartwarming. Her eyes scrunch up and her lips stretch upwards to reveal her pearly whites.
  "Well hello there Cassie", she says, "it's always so wonderful to see you". I come by every day and she still seems happy to see me every time.
  "Hi Dr. Azur, do you have anything for me to do today?", I ask.
  "Yes actually you have perfect timing", she says, "someone is coming to stay in our pack for a bit so they're coming by to make sure they're up to date on all of they're shots, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me set up the examination room". I nod in agreement before heading in. It's a pretty easy job. I just have to make sure everything in the exam room is clean and well-stocked.
  I wonder who's coming to stay here. We aren't really the best pack yo visit right now with how much of a wreck our Alpha is. It's probably someone's family coming to stay for a bit. It is a tad odd though, normally the gossip mill would have let me know if someone's family was coming by as it happens so little. People only leave if they find their mate elsewhere and then visiting is rare as people seldom want to part with their mate even for a couple of days' time and it's so hard to get two people at a time approved due to.the increased risk.
  I hear the slight sound of the bells chiming and the muffled voice of Dr. Azur greeting whoever just came through. I try to take a deep inhale to figure who it may be but, the strong antiseptics block the scent.
  I hear steps coming down the hallway but, choose to focus on refilling cotton balls.
  The door behind me swings open and in come Dr. Azur and a strange girl. Her eyes are downcast in a shy smile. I can't help the breath that halts in my lungs when I see her. I dont believe that I've ever seen someone so beautiful. Something in me is begging to look in her eyes but, I can't see them with her long braids slightly covering her face.
  I hear Dr. Azur say something and snap to attention.
  "Thank you Cassie", she says, "I'd like you to meet Yanis Cimorelli. She's staying with us for a bit". The girl looks up at me and holds out a hand for me to shake. I freeze as soon as I see her honey-toned eyes. My heart skips a beat looking at her yet, my chest swells even without it. I shakily lift my hand to take hers and I feel alight with pleasurable sparks.
  "It's so nice to meet you", she says softly. Even her voice is more melodious than the Gospel. I can't even shake her hand as I'm so overwhelmed by her. I just stand there holding her hand like an idiot and trying not to look too gobsmacked by her beauty.
  Then a voice in my head screams the magic word 'mate'. Instantly I am thrust from my reverie and drop her hand. She can't be my mate! She is a woman! I can't imagine the depth of damnation my mother would curse at me if she knew.
  I mutter something barely coherent before tripping on my own feet trying to get out. I run from the room and hear Dr. Azur calling after me. I keep running out of the office and even beyond that. I keep running until I reach a lush green field of grass to collapse in.
  I know I have signed but, why has God forsaken me in such a brutal way? Is this penance for coveting other's mates? Is this a test of my virtue? I look up to the sky and begin to pray with tears streaking down my cheeks. Oh heavenly father, why?