Love is When... - Logince & Prinxiety

Chapter Ten

Love is when you finally gather the courage to leave.

"Roman! Hey, Roman!" Patton called eagerly, chasing down the chestnut brown hair as it darted through the crowded hallway. The student in question raised his normally-hung head at the loud cries of his name but, upon spotting who it was, immediately sprinted away.

Well, tried to. It's hard to sprint through a bustling hallway. However, Roman found a quick reprieve as he slipped into the Boys' Bathroom and into one of the stalls. Muffled chatter and laughter echoed from the halls outside, but within the bathroom, it was quiet, save for Roman's heavy breathing and soft sniffles.

He desperately longed for Patton's comfort or even just to talk to Patton again. It had been so long since Roman had spoken to his puffball of a friend, and more than anything, he needed one of Patton's bursts of optimism.

As Roman sat miserably on the toilet seat, the bathroom door creaked open.

"Roman?" a timid voice called out. Roman hastily clamped a hand across his mouth to stop his sobs from blowing his cover. "Roman? Please, I know you're in here."

Two sneaker-clad feet stopped outside his stall door, and two quiet knocks sounded on the metal door. "Let me in?"

Though Roman knew Patton couldn't see him, he shook his head pitifully, eyes trained on the grout between the floor tiles. Roman heard a sigh before rustling.

"Well, Ro, you've left me no choice."

Within a few seconds, Patton's head and upper body were beneath the stall door, and soon, he was slithering into the stall along with Roman. "Hey, Ro," he said cheerily, but the facade instantly fell when he saw his friend huddled on the toilet seat, tears dripping from his nose to the floor.

"Roman?" Patton asked softly. When he got no response, he reached out for his friend's shoulder and was horrified to see him flinch violently away from the placating hand. "Roman?" Patton asked again, concerned.

Roman's eyes remained trained on the hand that still hung in the air. Slowly, his gaze drifted up the arm, past Patton's shoulder, and met his friend's sad gaze. The eyes dropped to the floor again in shame.

"Oh... Ro," Patton whispered quietly. He slowly opened his arms, and ever so gently, Roman fell into them.

* * *

Dear Logan,

I want to break up.

I know that was brash, but... well, you always liked honesty. So, I'm going to be honest.

I think I've been lying to myself. I told myself that you loved me, that you cared for me, and that you wanted me. I like to think that you did, once. A long time ago. But, I don't think you do now. Whatever this is, it isn't love. And if it is, I don't want it anymore.

But, I still love you. I still want to go back to the days when you loved me, really loved me. When nothing could pop our bubble of romance, and life was easy. Can I go back? Can I tell myself that you love me, and I love you, and that's all there is to it? If I say it enough will I believe it? And if I believe it, does that make it true?

I'm so confused, Logan. I wonder if you are too.

I loved you. I still do, I think. I don't remember when I fell in love with you. Dimly, I'd think to myself that I was in love with you, but the thought was so foreign and new that I'd dismissed it instantly. Then suddenly, my brain caught up with my heart, and the thought wasn't so scary anymore. I don't remember falling for you. I just remember falling without realizing, and by the time I knew I was falling, I wasn't so scared.

But now, my feet are on the ground, and I think I'm ready to start climbing again.

I'm sorry we got it wrong. I think we were meant to be, but something got messed up along the way. Maybe, in another lifetime, we'll meet again. Maybe then, we'll get it right.

Until then, I have to go. I can't stay, not when it hurts like this.

Sincerely,

As Roman poised his pencil to sign his name, his door slammed open. "Roman?" Logan spat angrily.

"Logan! What are you doing here?" Roman asked confusedly, trying to shift the letter out of his boyfriend's view.

Logan rolled his eyes. "I texted you an hour ago telling you we were going to lunch," he explained, foot tapping on the floor impatiently.

Roman reached for his phone and quickly scrolled through the myriad of texts Logan had sent him, wincing as they gradually became more furious.

"I'm so sorry, I was working, I had put my phone down," Roman tried to explain.

"Working on what, exactly? I know you do not have any work to do today, so you are clearly lying to me."

Subconsciously, Roman moved in front of his unfinished letter, but Logan, ever the observer, understood his actions, and in a flash, he had snatched the letter up. His eyes scanned the words, disbelief growing in his gaze as his lip curled in disgust.

"No!" Roman cried, lunging for the precious piece of paper, but it was too late.

"Oh," Logan drawled, the letter now being folded neatly between Logan's fingers. "I see." The letter disappeared into his pocket.

"You... you do?" Roman asked meekly, hoping beyond hope that his boyfriend would understand. That he would understand what they had wasn't healthy.

"Of course, I do," Logan crossed his arms over his chest, and Roman felt the small blossom of hope in his stomach wither away almost instantly. That was not the face of an understanding boyfriend. "You think you are too good for me, huh?" Logan growled, eyes ablaze with fury.

"What? No! No, that's not it all. I was just upset! I love you!" Roman cried, knowing that the words that fell from his mouth were lies, but Patton was wrong. Roman couldn't leave Logan. He needed him.

"What was it, Roman? Why was I not good enough for you? What exactly makes you so much better than me?"

"I -"

"Oh Roman, Roman, Roman," Logan sneered as he gestured expansively, "you always want to be the hero of your own story. Well, guess what? Life is not a fairytale, and you are not the hero. You will never be the hero, and you know how I know? Because you lost. And there is no one to save you. No Fairy Godmother, no prince, nothing. Because you are the villain, and no one saves the villain."

That's not true! Roman weakly protested, but someone in his head was shouting agreement with Logan's words. And a whole crowd of people believed that someone.

"I do not love you," Logan continued. "Why would I? You are worthless. You are useless. And no one will ever love you." The words cut at Roman, shoving him to the ground. "I am the only one who can even stand to look at you. Congratulations, this is the end of the tale. There is no happy ending because villains such as yourself do not get them. You have reached the end of your story, and now, you have no one."

Roman didn't look up when he heard the footsteps retreating. He didn't look up when he heard the stairs creak beneath Logan's weight. He didn't look up when the door slammed, and he didn't look up when the car drove away.

He didn't look up because he knew that if he did, he'd see the mess he had to clean up. And for now, he just wanted to rest.

Patton: I hope it went okay

Patton: I love you ro <3