the 8th// bts 8th member

anxious •scenario•

today, the MAMA was going to be held. everyone was extremely excited because they'd get to see friends from other groups, without getting issues. most idols don't really get to hang out outside of events due to the control of their companies and the risk of being caught and mobbed and such. safety reasons mostly. so any award show or event are really special to idols, apart from the thrill of recieving awards.

bangtan was currently getting last touches done in the bighit building, about to leave for the award show. it was pretty chaotic with everyone yelling and running around to make sure everything was in tip-top shape. the boys were mixed together in a few different rooms, aera separated so she could change with no worries, obviously. she was simply sitting on the makeup chair scrolling on twitter while someone was doing remaining fixes on her now purple ombrè hair.

"aera, babe. come on, let's go." yoongi peeked into aera's little room where she was getting dressed and made up. what surprised ( but-not-really ) aera even more was when 6 other dashing heads peeked into the room, some smiling and some with wide innocent eyes. this made aera smile and laugh which made all the boys melt at their angel's precious smile.

"come come, princess. let's get going." her jin eomma smiled at her, making little grabby hands that looked like he was gonna engulf her in a hug. aera swore her heart busted all the uwus it probably ever could at her hyung's uncommonly shown aegyo.

"ok, ok... kaja." she sighed, slightly chuckling, taking her small purse from the table and walking to the door where the boys are. taehyung the baby wrapped his arm around her shoulders almost as soon as she got there, before any of the other boys claimed the gorgeous lady.

"YAH!!! KIM TAEHYUNG-SSI BE CAREFUL WITH AERA'S HAIR I WORKED HARD ON THAAATTT!!!!" they heard aera's stylist yelling from the door making all of them laugh. taehyung immediately removed his hands and put them up in surrender, which made everyone laugh even more.

they got into the black limousine with the seating arrangements of, beginning from the seat nearest the door and going around: namjoon, yoongi, jhope, jungkook, aera, taehyung, jimin, jin. which would be the same order of them going out and the line on the carpet as well as for pictures. even though it defenitely wasn't bts' first award show or that they weren't used to it, aera still was very nervous. it was a habit of her to play with her hands and jewelry and sometimes even bite her nails when she was and she was currently playing with the rings on her fingers, most of them gifted by her family. they somehow helped as remembering them reminded her of her 'why' which gave her the most gigantic and important boost of motivation.

she continued doing this for a while before jungkook who was beside her noticed. he took her right hand, the hand playing with the rings on her left, and squeezed it in comfort. this made aera look at him and he looked back at her smiling. out of all the members, jungkook and yoongi knew most of aera's mental state and habits due to yoongi's observantness and the fact that aera talks to jungkook a lot because of the close age gaps and to yoongi because of his past experiences.

it wasn't long before the other boys realized what was going on with aera and they immediately showered her with positive words.

"thanks guys..." aera said but the hint of faking it didn't go unnoticed by the boys.

"aera... i know you're very nervous today, especially since you're gonna be performing by yourself. but remember that hyungs are still going to be there cheering you on. you've worked so so hard for your solo performance that i promise, you'll do amazing. as long as you do your best, that's enough. army will still unconditionally love you. and so will we." namjoon said, directly looking into her eyes.

"yeah, aera! no matter what happens, we will all still love you. it is nerve wracking, yes. but im more than certain that you will do amazing and all that hard work will really pay off." hobi nodded at her, making her smile.

"thanks hyung, sunshiney. i'm sorry. it's just- there's other idols and performers there i don't know what they'll think. a lot of them have been doing this solo thing for such a long time. i don't know what kind of stage presence i bring. is it strong enough for me to do it all by myself? i've been practicing for so long, will i even do enough? will i even impress anyone-?" she ranted.

"don't think about what the other idols will think ok, aera? this is for yourself and for army, not them." jimin looked at her intently.

"but what if they get bored during my performance, even army? and i don't think that after all that i've done and this is finally here, i don't think all of that hard work will pay off." aera continued on, furrowing her eyebrows in so much worry and stress.

"princess, stop. don't stress yourself out. you're going to do great i promise. i've seen you work and you do so much in each and every practice it would be impossible. just give it your best shot. do whatever you can and i know for sure that will be enough." jin reassured her.

"i still don't think that i'm gonna do enough. i'm sorry." she hung her head low, beginning to grow exessively upset.

"aeyi. i hate seeing you like this but i remember feeling the same when i did my first solo performance. it's okay thinking this way. but just remember that no matter what, we still love you alright? we love you so so much and there'll never be a day when we won't say that enough. we're here for you." taehyung held her other hand giving it comforting squeezes. aera only reluctantly nodded.

"remember your why, aera." yoongi told her seriously. she looked up at this and smiled.

"alright. we're here now, sweetie. come on, be happy!" j-hope said beginning to do his goofy antics which never failed to make her laugh, or in this case, at least grin.

they all got out of the car and everything happened. pictures here and there, minor interviews and whatnot. soon, they were sent off to their seats. the members made sure that it was jungkook and yoongi who sat on each side of aera, to easily comfort and calm her when she got too nervous.

the show has started already and there was only 1 performance and 2 awards to be presented left before it was aera's turn to perform. a staff member went to her to escort her to the back. the boys were trying to negotiate with the staff member to let them, or at least someone, to be with aera. it took some time but in the end they were allowed to anyway, due to aera's anxiety. manager sejin advised that only 2 members go with aera, so that it wouldn't look empty and suspicious. aera's anxiety has already been rumored but not yet confirmed, for aera's comfort. she knew she'd get there eventually though. it was agreed between them that yoongi and jin go with aera, the 2 eldest of the group. they'd ask jungkook to go but they were concerned that the male maknae might do something reckless like completely cancel the performance for aera's sake. he was that caring for her.

before she left, jungkook grabbed her wrist.

"aera-ah... sorry i can't come with you, but if you feel nervous, think of your why, arasseo? i love you, babe, remember that." he smiled sweetly and let her go. aera only nodded at him, beginning to feel the world was spinning. but she stood her ground and kept walking, then waiting behind the stage for her performance in no time. she looked to the right where yoongi and jin stood, smiling. she fixated her vision straight again, then closing her eyes.

you'll be fine
apart from yourself,
this is for your family
this is for your hyungs
this is for army
this is for,
this is for sujin unnie
you can do this, aera
they all love you
let's kill this, aera

A/N: uwwaaaaaaa i just got back home and now have stable wifi to save and sync all my shit. also im so sorry for being so bad akxnejznifnekcnt im new to this if it aint obvious yet lmao. i promise i'll work harder as an author. thanks for sticking by whoever does. saranghaeeyyooo