Move On? No (ON HOLD)

Chap : 12

I probably should have made a beeline for the washroom. But what if someone was there? Moreover, what if someone recognized me? A lot more what if's plus the need to finish my lunch, courtesy to my other weaknesses that would kick in if I dared starve myself, making me more vulnerable, I ended up wounding at the isolated, sad, lonely lot of bleachers. Thankfully no one's in sight. Now I can overthink and make things worse all by myself.

Sighs.

I slowly munch on my sandwich, tho my throat practically felt blocked. I can't believe this is happening. Did I really say all that? Wait, what did I say again? But it was them! The 'them' I have to spend the rest of my school time here with! I really messed up bad this time. But seriously, how could people be so.. so.. emotionless, so ignorant!

How could they, they don't even know anything!!

Deep breaths Rose. Deep breaths.

I take another bite of my tasteless sandwich, and it refuses to go down my throat. Guess, I should have brought something to drink as well.

I'm not gonna cry today. Not today - I repeatedly keep saying to myself, even shaking my head in a no manner.

Yeah, definitely not today.

Then why won't my eyes stop watering!?

No. I'm not gonna cry today. Imma big girl. Big girls don't just cry for no reason. And there's no need to cry. I don't need to cry. It won't change anything. I don't even need to remember it all, cause that'd just make things worse. But what if I want to? I need to think it all through and move on, sooner or later...

Okay.

Let's get this over with.

In. Aandd. Outt.

In. Aandd. Outt.

In. Aandd...

So Mr. Aiden had a . . . a past.
Ever since he was little, his parents never gave him the attention, the love, the care, he sought-after. Specially his father. Him being a war veteran, didn't make him the sweetest and kindest father out their. And, worse, he'd abuse him (which I never got the details of) due to his inexplicable hatred towards Aiden. Plus his siblings didn't bond well with him either. Due to this, little Aiden felt depreciated, mistreated and often neglected. No matter how he tried, it never became the home he desired - it was just a house. A haunting one, at that.

He was like a lost, depressed soul, who kept drowning in his own wishes and sorrows. Unfortunately enough, he had no one to turn to, to open up to, to be guided by and so, at that tender age, he didn't know which way to head. And that turned out to be the root cause of his downfall afterwards. In middle school, he fell in with the wrong company.

A lonely tear falls from my left eye.

In high school, he started smoking and doing drugs.

Hiccup.

And soon enough, he joined a local gang. His family being as good as blind strangers to his personal life, still didn't know nothing. Courtesy to his father, a war environment was kept in his house. They'd punish him for his failing grades, but never tried to see why. They'd scold him for his disrespectful and odd behaviour, but never looked for the reason. They saw his unkempt appearance, but not his dead soul.

They never did.

Never would have, if it wasn't for him ending up behind the bars. His father was outrageous. Determined to disown his son or better - kill him and get it done with once and for all. Only then, did his mother come to her senses. She stopped her husband from doing something they'd regret forever, from something they couldn't fix afterwards.

Deep breaths.

Things took a new turn that day. His father, specifically, would treat him worse than dirt. But fortunately enough, his older sister, brother, some long lost supporting fellows and even his mother pursuaded him to stop killing himself, leave the past in the past, and start things anew.

He left his gang life behind and joined rehab. That's when fortune kicked in. After regaining some balance in life, the first thing he did was to continue his studies - to finally follow his once lost passion of being one with the music, topped off with a bit of psychology. The sole reason he studied psychology was to know what he was dealing with, what he needed, what went wrong, and most of all to be able to help at least a single person so they wouldn't have to go through what he did.

By the end of his studies, he had finally resurfaced from the quicksands of his youth. Except just a tinny little detail. His smoking addiction. He just couldn't bring himself to stop it. So he eventually stopped trying at all.

He managed to become a music teacher in our school. He was my first and last music teacher. Two years ago, our school counsellor had to quit. And, because of reasons mostly unknown, the Principal decided to appoint Mr. Aiden as school counsellor as well.

*You all may never get the full story because I kinda got over the story and realized just how cringe my writing was. But this had been sitting in drafts for far too long so here goes nothing. *