Mimi's Guide to Definitely Not Being Kidnapped by Faeries

Chapter Two

There's a long pause in which nothing happens. The weight of their gazes pins me to the ground.

Just when I'm about to call it quits and decide that, yeah, I'm probably still imagining things, the male faerie steps forward.

"We are here to bring you back to Faerie with us," he says, his voice smooth like silk. It takes a moment for his words to register, but when they do, I'm jolted out of my calm haze.

What in the world is going on?

I want to ask something along those lines, but I can't do much more than gape at him. My heart pounds, finally catching on to the fact that there are two highly dangerous, supposedly nonexistent creatures standing in my backyard.

He seems to be waiting for a response, and so I attempt to summon every last bit of my wits.

"Why?" I croak.

Ah, good job, Mimi. Pat on the back for that elegant phrasing.

The female faerie steps up to his side and, holy shit, I'm struck all over again by their beauty. This shouldn't be legal. Except, oh wait, they're faeries, and technically that shouldn't be possible. Hysterical laughter bubbles up inside of me. I swallow it down.

"You have been summoned," she explains, as if that's a helpful answer.

I wait for them to tell me more. Neither of them takes the initiative. You'd really think that, with the whole 'immortal faerie who has lived for many generations' thing, they'd be much better at keeping conversations from becoming awkward. But then again, who knows? Maybe awkward doesn't exist for faeries.

Still nothing. I sigh - internally, of course. Do I have to do all the work?

"Who have I been summoned by?" I prompt.

"Whom," the female faerie says quickly.

I furrow my brow. "I have been summoned by...a faerie named Whom?"

The female faerie swallows, looking faintly uncomfortable. "You asked who. I was correcting you." The male faerie looks at her, and I swear I see him roll his eyes. There is a powerful faerie in my yard. And he just rolled his eyes.

I shift my eyes back to the female faerie, my cheeks heating, and blurt out, "Yeah, well, sometimes, when everyday lowly mortals are just, you know, mortaling around, we don't always use correct grammar, because it makes you sound like a stuck-up narcissistic jerk."

Shit. Did I just say that?

The female faerie blinks, taken aback. I know I should apologize, but my moment of articulateness has fled me. She doesn't look offended though, and, when I look over at him, I see the male faerie attempting to stifle laughter as he speaks.

"Right so, moving on from that thrilling lesson in grammar."

I give a tight shrug.

"We have been ordered to bring you back to Faerie by the king." The female faerie shoots him a look, as if he's said too much. I think she might be right; I may pass out in a moment.

"What?" I squeak, and oh my God is that my voice? "Why?"

I swear these faeries are the worst influences on me. I've managed to do absolutely nothing in the past three minutes but ask unnecessary questions and accidentally insult an immortal. Yay me.

The male faerie starts to speak, but the female faerie cuts him off. "We don't know why. We're just here to take you there." He narrows his eyes at her, but doesn't say anything.