Respiration

12

The weekend passed by with absolutely no contact with Jackson. Usually they may share a few texts back and forth just to chat or check up on each other (mostly Jackson checking up on Jinyoung), but both of their phones were quiet. Jinyoung was in basically one spot all weekend aside from when he needed to use the bathroom or eat— in his bed.

He moped around about how terrible things went at the party and constantly checked his phone for any sign of Jackson at all. He wasn't surprised that Jackson never contacted him though, and Jinyoung made no effort to reach out either.

School came back around quickly, the two days of the weekend not feeling like enough time to hide away from everyone. But there Jinyoung was again, thrust back into his routine of waking up early, throwing on some clothes, and rushing out the door to avoid being late.

The only thing was, he expected Jackson to be right outside his building waiting for him when he rushed out that morning. Yet that red convertible was absolutely nowhere in sight. Jinyoung paused for a moment by the curb, letting out a breath at the empty street. He immediately thought the worse, that Jackson had finally left him.

Just like everyone else who've tried to befriend him, Jackson had gotten tired of trying to deal with him and given up being friends. The party must've been his last straw, and now Jinyoung was again left alone to care for himself. He never noticed how fond he'd grown of Jackson over time until now with him missing, Jinyoung felt like a part of his day was ruined.

But of course he couldn't sit there and cry about it. He had a class with a shitty professessor to attend. He tugged his bag up on his back and started walking down towards the bus stop, glancing back at the curb as if Jackson would suddenly be there waving at him while yelling 'sorry I'm late!'. Though as the empty spot on the street shrunk further, Jinyoung grew more sure that he'd never interact with Jackson again.

Some sliver of hope for some reason stuck with him through the day. He held onto to some stupid thought that told him 'well just because he isn't here in the morning doesn't me he won't be there in the afternoon'.

So of course Jinyoung held onto that thought, like usual thinking of Jackson through all of his classes until he'd finally gotten out of the last one. He was probably the first student to dart out of the building, rushing to the parking space Jackson usually occupied as he leaned on his car waiting for Jinyoung to arrive. Though Jinyoung's heart sank as the red convertible and its owner were nowhere in sight.

He stood there for a moment contemplating what to do. Ten minutes passed with no sign of Jackson whatsoever. Jinyoung's hopes were crushed as he started to trudge home. All he could think of was how used to being around Jackson he'd gotten, and how it had been a while since he took public transportation home due to Jackson always driving him to and from school.

He got back to his apartment later than usual since driving always took less time than riding the bus, and it was no surprise that Jackson was still plaguing his mind. Jinyoung usually didn't care too much when people faded out of his life. Of course it would hurt for a little bit, but he'd have to get over it and move on or else it would be a cycle of pitying himself. He still had a life to live, he couldn't have a breakdown over everyone who comes and goes.

But Jackson was different. He didn't know why exactly he couldn't get over pushing Jackson out of his life (that was a lie, he knew it was totally because he had a huge crush on the guy and realized how much he liked him only when Jackson hadn't appeared at his front step) but it was irking him and he felt the need to do something about it. To at least see why Jackson had suddenly decided to cut ties and gain a little closure from that.

Jinyoung tossed with the idea of calling him. He'd never called Jackson before, only texted. And they never texted for long periods of time, so their few minutes of contact through phone wasn't too encouraging. Jinyoung sat on his couch with his phone in hand, staring down at Jackson's contact. He didn't even know if he was in the right position to call Jackson. If he no longer wants to be associated with Jinyoung, then he wouldn't pick up in the first place... right?

Jackson was quite unpredictable, which only annoyed Jinyoung more. He wished he knew Jackson's every reaction and response so he could prepare himself for it, but that was next to impossible. Though despite the unsurety of Jackson's response, Jinyoung still found himself wondering about him. Jinyoung just wanted to hear from him, to at least know he was okay, even if he was trying to avoid him.

Just one call would answer all of his questions, right?

Jinyoung took in a breath, staring down at the call button. His thumb hovered over it for who knows how long at this point, his throat suddenly drying as he grew more nervous. Jinyoung cursed under his breath as he finally pressed the call button. He put the phone up to his ear, half hoping that Jackson wouldn't answer and half hoping that he would.

He nearly stopped breathing when he heard some shuffling around on the other end.

"Jinyoung?"

Jinyoung's heart leapt out of his chest at the sweet sound of his name leaving Jackson's mouth. He was quiet for a moment, just relishing in the fact that Jackson actually picked up his call before realizing that maybe he should actually speak to the man he was calling.

"Hey... you um... weren't at school today..." Jinyoung choked out, his clammy fingers clutching tightly to the phone as he waited for a response.

"Oh. I was actually." Jackson replied, his tone seemingly indifferent towards Jinyoung's concern.

Jinyoung frowned. Did he possibly pass Jackson without even knowing? He swore he never saw the other all day, not even when looking for him. "O-Oh, you were? Well I um... missed you..."

"Missed me?" Jackson repeated, some hint of teasing in the way he said it.

Jinyoung immediately realized what what he had said implied, his voice cracking and cheeks flushing a rosy red that luckily Jackson couldn't see. "Not like that! I mean, I missed you as in, I wasn't able to catch you today. Y'know, usually we see each other after my last class ends. I didn't see you."

Jackson was quiet for a few moments after that, only the sound of him taking in a breath coming through the phone until he decided to speak again. "Oh. I had um... things to do... and I figured that you were still kinda pissed about the party so maybe you didn't wanna see me..."

From all of this, Jinyoung could conclude that (1) Jackson is a sweetheart, but that was pretty much well known already. And (2) that even if he was still upset about the party, he hated being avoided. He understood why Jackson was staying out of the way, but it kinda sucked, especially when it was someone he liked avoiding him. But he also didn't like making Jackson feel unwanted. That really wasn't his intention, and now he was suffering the repercussions of Jackson's missing presence.

"I see... no I was just... a little embarrassed. I needed the weekend to get over it but, I... s-still wanna see you..." he mumbled out the last part, a bit shy with admitting how he'd been craving to see Jackson all day. It felt like Jackson was a cup of coffee that Jinyoung needed to get through his day, and today he wasn't able to get his cup.

"You'll see me tomorrow, no worries." Jackson assured, sounding as if he were smiling as he said it due to his chirpy tone.

"No no, take your time you don't need to come for me." Jinyoung replied with the fear of sounding too desperate.

Jackson chuckled, his high pitched laughter a wonderful sound that blessed Jinyoung's ears. "Just because you were looking for me today, I'm definitely gonna come see you tomorrow!"

Before Jinyoung could even argue, Jackson was chirping "Night! Sleep well!" into his ear then promptly hanging up. Jinyoung's phone dropped to his lap, a smile slowly growing on his face.

He was glad that went well.