Blissful Sin

S E C R E T

S T I L E S : 0 1

Hell is waiting for me, I'm sure of it. They'll send hell hounds after me, they'll send demons to get me. There's no going back from this realization, there's no going back from this shit hole I've dug myself into. My heart pounds painfully in my chest, there's no way out.

"Stiles? Dude are you okay?" Scott touches me and I pull away. He showed up at my house in the middle of the night, puppy eyes in action and in nothing but sweat pants. He makes me want to scream, makes me want to cry...

He makes me want to beg for mercy.

His eyes widens when I pull away from him and I try to laugh it off, I try to smile at him but it hurts and I'm sure I don't look too convincing. His eyebrows furrow and my stomach knots up when he touches me again, pulling my arm to him.

"What's going on with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"My name is Stiles." I laugh at myself, "I was born weird." I try to move away again but that doesn't work, he holds me still and looks me straight in the eyes.

Too close, he's too close to me.

My heart screams and he hears it, he can hear how loud my heart beat is. How wild it goes when he touches me.

"This isn't normal for you." He says. I step back but he follows and I'm left wordless and worried.

He can never know, I don't want him to know.

"I'm okay-"

He pulls me closer, eyes flashing red, making my stomach burn straight to my core, arousal flaring up in me so hotly, it feels like I've swallowed lava. It's driving me insane.

He's driving me insane.

"Don't lie to me. You've been avoiding me for weeks, you barely talk to me anymore, and you're always making up excuses. Always lying." His hands travel to my shoulders to stop me from squirming.

I look away, desperately trying to get away from him, all he has to do is breath in a bit deeper and he'll know. He'll smell it on me, and if he walks in a little closer, he'll feel me. He'll feel me twitching in my pants.

His eyebrows furrow and I try to inch back but he holds me still and sticks his nose into my neck, presses his body against mine and it feels as if there is a hand clenched around my heart.

He sniffs up my neck and growls. The mother fucker growls- and heat swells up in me so wildly it's hard to keep my voice from slipping out. I bite my lip so hard it bleeds. I can feel him, I can feel his dick on my dick and oh my god.

"Stiles." His voice is husky and he pulls me in even closer.

"No!" I push him away.

He looks shocked, and a little frustrated.

"What the hell man?" He screams.

"What the hell?! You were gonna bite me!" I didn't really know it in the moment but once I said it I knew it was true.

"No I-"

"Scott... don't lie to me." My voice is choked up with emotions and my hands are trembling.

I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid.

"Stiles I-" He starts, guilt in his eyes but I shake my head no at him and scrub at my eyes.

"Just go away." I can't look at him.

He looks at me and I look away, the heat is still ranging in my stomach and I'm undeniably hard. I'm undeniably still in no shape to stand in-front of him. I'm so screwed, so incredibly fucked.

His eyes leave hot trails on my body but he simply nods and says, "See you at school?"

Is this a joke?

I have to scrub at my eyes again to keep myself from crying or screaming. The pain in my heart isn't something I'm used to feeling, probably not something I'll ever get used to.

But I mean- hey!- at least I didn't moan when he was so close to me. Well, yeah I definitely was about to do it
- but I didn't!

"Yeah, I'll see you there." I try smiling again and I'm sure it works this time. I'm sure I convinced him because he leaves and if I didn't convince him and he left... well that would be too painful to think about.

It's not like it's his fault. It's not like he did it on purpose, it's not like he forced these feelings on me. These feelings that might have been here the whole time, that might have been ignored for years and years... growing stronger and stronger until it over powered me.

I'm pretty sure fate has it in for me. Like, strange things are constantly happening to me, I'm literally surrounded by werewolves! Lydia finds dead people on the daily, Jackson was a Kanima and now he's just a werewolf with a freakin lizards tail that can paralyze people.

I'm pretty sure most of the pack knows, which is so much worse than it would have been if it were a secret. It's embarrassing, I'm constantly the fool who falls for people he can never have.

Or worse, the fool who pushed away his feelings and pretended they weren't there.

I've never even been attracted to another dude like that before! That whole thing with dad outside the gay bar was a joke. I was just trying to make an excuse for being there. I was just trying to look for a distraction so that I wouldn't have to tell my father that there was a huge lizard thing in there that Scott and I tried to trap.

The truth is, life sucks. Sure, it has its perks but it still sucks. Scott used to be one of the perks, in a way he still is, but right now he's the reason it sucks. I know it's not fair to blame him but I can't help it.

I'm extremely attracted to Scott, someone who's supposed to be like a brother to me, and I've fallen victim to one of satan's oldest tricks. The blissful sin of falling in love with you're best friend.

And then masturbating with his name on your tongue and his face in your thoughts.