How to live on?

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Joe's POV
"Please don't say that this is what I think that it is" Rami said kinda disappointed. "I'm so sorry." "Joe. You don't have to be sorry. But please talk to me before you hurt yourself. I can try to make you feel better, ok?" I cried badly. "Stay here. I am gonna search for a bandage, press this against the wound. I am gonna be back in a few moments. Ok?" I nodded and Rami ran out of the room. I suddenly could think clearly. Why did Ann do this? I thought I know her. I thought I love her. How dumb am I to think that she could love me? I mean, she's way out of my league! She is way too beautiful for me. And Ben! How could he do this to me? I thought we are friends. I thought he likes me. I am such an idiot. I have never had such feelings for a friend. I mean, I love all of my friends, but this love was different. And now? Now I don't think that I can trust anybody ever again. Oh man, there are the tears again. Rami came in and interrupted my thoughts. Oh thank God. "Attention, I am putting on the bandage now." Man this hurts. I tried to focus on not to show the pain, but that kinda hasn't worked. Rami clearly can see it. "I'm Sorry Joe. I should have been there for you, but y'know you slept and I thought I should get some breakfast and I went to the bakery and-" "Rami it's not you're fault." "Yes it is! I should have been there for you" "No! It's not you're fault ok? It's mine! " I yelled. Rami looked a bit shocked. "Why do you think that it's you're fault? It clearly isn't! It's Ben's and Ann's!" "Yes but I am the jerk that trusted them!" I started crying again. Why can't this shit just stop? Rami sat down next to me, took me into his arms and almost whispered in my ear :"Joe. It's OK to trust people. And how could you know that they are gonna hurt you? It's not ok to give you the fault for all this. Ok?" "But what if I did something wrong?"I asked. "Then they are still jerks." he answered. "Ok." We just sat there in silent. After around two minutes I started thinking again. I think it's time to go home and get some clothes. I am gonna sleep at Rami's for a week. If it's OK to him for sure. I left the hug and asked :"Uh Rami?" "Yeah?" "Could I sleep at yours for a week?" Rami nodded and responded :"Sure, you can stay as long as you want." Thank God. "Thank you Rami. Also, Could you give me a drive home? I should pack some clothes." "Yeah sure! But let's eat first, ok?" "Yeah ok." I sat down and ate a bit, but I wasn't very hungry. After Rami finished eating we drove to my place. I packed some clothes and cleaned up, just to find Ben's sweater. I probably have to give it back, huh? I never recognized that I probably never gonna see Ben again. I'm gonna miss him. Even after everything he did I still have these thoughts, that I can't stop. Like the one yesterday morning. It's funny, it feels like ages ago that we all sat together and talked. Wow. This will never happen again. The four of us hanging out. I will miss this, but I don't think that I can forgive Ben. Or can I? Yes! I can! I really like this man, and I have to ask at least one question! What if it was just a huge mistake? I have to go to Ben's. "Rami?" "Yeah?" "Could you drive me to Ben's? I need to talk to him." "I don't think that this is a good idea Joe. In my opinion this will hurt you even more." Damn. He is right. What mistake could this be? It would hurt me more. But I just miss him. But still. He is right. "Yeah. You're right." I started crying again, so Rami hugged me and said: "It's gonna be okay, Joe."
No it won't.

*meanwhile*
Ben's POV
Ok. What could I do? I'm gonna call Joe again. Mailbox again. "Joe? It's me again. Please talk to me. I wanna make it up to you, if it's possible." I tried ten other times, without luck. What else could I do? Oh right! I haven't called Rami yet! "Rami here" "Hey Rami it's Ben. Do you know where Joe is?" "Why should I tell you where he is after what you did? That really hurt Joe. I don't think that you should talk to him, you just gonna make it worse ok?" "I have to talk to him. Please." I said while tears were running down my face. "I can't let you hurt him again. I'm sorry." He hung up. Fuck. But Rami knows where Joe is, so he is probably at Rami's! I have to give it a try. So I got in my car and drove as fast as possible to Rami's. Wait. Wasn't that Rami's car? No. Probably not. I stopped in front of Rami's house and went to the door and rang. And again. And again. Not there huh? Then it was Rami's car that I saw earlier. Fuck. But when I'm here I should let them know that I were there. I searched all my pockets and the whole car for anything to write on and after fifteen minutes I found something. A old shopping list. I took my pen, that I have with me all the time, (you don't know when you need it) and wrote something down. I pushed it under the door and went home.








Hey Joe. I know that you are mad and I know that you hate me now, but please, let me try to explain it to you. I miss you, buddy.

The human that is an ass and don't deserves you're attention because you are way to perfect,
Ben Hardy

Ps: If you forgive me, meet me at the park at Saturday, six p.m.


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Hey guys, sorry, it took a while, but finally here is the new chapter! I hope you like it, and if you have any suggestions please tell me!

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