Joe's POV
After we finished cleaning up I packed some clothes and grabbed my phone, just to recognize that it is out of power. Well, ok. I am just gonna load it later. I sat in the car and Rami started driving. "Hey Ram, could can we put on the radio?" I asked. Rami didn't answer, he just pressed a button and suddenly the radio started. I smiled and said :" Thanks." Rami put his hand on my shoulder and responded :"If it makes you feel better, then I love to listen to Justin Bieber." "Uh well, I don't wanna annoy you, but could you change the radio station? I don't like Justin Bieber either." I answered with a small laugh. "Oh thank god. Yes, I would love to." He laughed and changed the station. We listened to the music and suddenly somebody to love came up and the for the first time in two days I felt really happy. Every time I hear this song I get a throwback to the days of filming Borhap. To all the fun, that we had. To the new friends that I met. To the friend that means the most to me.
Ben.
Since I met him, there was this connection. It was different then the connection with the other ones. It always felt like there was more. More than friendship. It felt like I would love him. And it still does. But this could never happen. I mean, Ben is straight, so I would never have a chance. Because of this I asked Ann out. I learned to love her. I learned to forget the feelings for Ben. But now they are all just coming back. All the happy memories. All the love. After my father died, Ben was always around me, to make sure that I'm okay. That I don't start hurting myself again. And now he's the one that hurts me. Why would he do this? I trusted him. More than I trusted anybody else. I loved him more than I loved anybody else before. He was the love of my life. And now he's out of my life. He hurt me, even though he promised he would never. And I idiot believed him. Ramis hand tore me from my thoughts. We are already standing in the garage of Ramis house. He worriedly looked at me and asked :"Joe? Are you okay?" I smiled sadly and answered :"How could I? I lost the most important person in my life." Rami responded :"You're gonna find a better woman than Ann." "I'm not talking about Ann, Rami." I said, got out of the car, walked in and unpacked my stuff. Rami has a guest room, and he told me that I could sleep there as long as I wanted. As I finished unpacking I started charging my phone. I layed at my bed and tried to sleep, but right as I closed my eyes I heard knocking. I shouted :"It's open" and heard the door open and steps towards my bed. I opened my eyes and saw to my surprise not Rami. In front of me stood Lucy. "Hey Joe" she whispered. "Lucy!" happiness filled my body. "I thought you are filming a movie!" I jumped up and fell in her arms. "I was! But rami said you need someone to talk." I smiled and answered :"yes, please. Let's sit down. This could take a while." we sat down and I told her everything. About what happened, who Ann is and about my feelings for Ben. She nodded slowly and said :"that would explain this piece of paper." she reached to her pocket and gave me a small piece of paper. I looked closely and identified the handwriting was Ben's. I read the words carefully over and over again. Then I looked up to Lucy, who looked in my eyes and asked :"Are you gonna go?" "No. I mean, yes. Or not? I don't know." I layed down and lucy did the same. "What does you're heart say?" "My heart says that I should go, but also that I can't trust him anymore." I reaponded. I felt that lucy turned her face to me. "Than you shouldn't go. If you know that you can't trust him, than it's not worth it." "But what if he is gonna explain everything? What if it was a mistake?" I asked hopefully. Lucy looked at me sympathetically and answered :" I don't know Joe. You have to decide that, but I wouldn't do it." with these words she left the room, to give me space that I need to think about what to do. For the rest of the day I layed in my bed, thinking. Rami came in every hour, checking if I'm okay or if I need something. At the end of the day I decided to not to go. There is nothing to explain. He kissed my girlfriend. Nobody could explain why he did that. After I made that decision I fell asleep. I woke up early the next morning, around six or seven o'clock. I got up and dressed and stumbled to the kitchen. It was Saturday, so Rami was still asleep. I made breakfast and went to Rami's room, just to find Lucy and Rami in his bed. "Oh, hey guys" I said embarrassed. "Uh good morning Joe, how are you?" Lucy asked happily. I answered :"well, pretty good, I made breakfast sooo..." Rami smoothed his curls and answered :"yes, we are on the way." "Alright." I said while closing the door. As it was closed I broke down in laughing. That was the weirdest situation ever! I went to my room and checked my phone. Wow. 15 missed calls. All from Ben. And two messages. Should I listen to them? It's worth a shot. Wow. He is sad? He misses me? Like seriously? No. I can't trust him. Not yet. I need answers. But first breakfast. As I came in the kitchen I saw Rami and Lucy already eating. I sat down next to them and ate some scrambled eggs and a toast. After I finished I helped them cleaning up. We discussed what we should do today and agreed to eat pizza, then go play Minigolf, go shopping after that and then catch the six p.m. Movie. I won the Minigolf game. We shopped for about 3 hours, and At 5:30 we went to to the theaters. In the moment I got in the cinema, my phone rang. I excused myself and picked up the phone. "Hello, Joe here. How can I help you?" "Hey Joe" It was like a thunder hit me. Ann. "Joe? I know that you don't wanna talk to me, but at least listen. I know that you are mad at me and ben, but it's not Ben's fault. It was me who kissed him. But I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Joe. I love you so much. And I want you to be happy, so please talk to Ben. Don't let this friendship go down because of me."...." Thanks, Ann" I hung up and checked the time. 5:50. Fuck. The park is thirty minutes away. I'm not gonna make it. But I'll have to try. I got in the car and drove, as fast as possible, to the park. As I got out of the car I checked the time: 6:15. Maybe he's still there. I run, as fast as possible to our spot. It's a under a huge tree, nobody knows about it- except me and ben. Every day after shooting we went there and talked 'till it was dark. Every night he walked me home, although it was a huge detour for him. I run the path down, as fast as even possible, and stopped in front of the tree. Nobody here. I sat down and closed my eyes. Tears ran all over my face. I opened them, just to recognize a rose right next to me, a piece of paper tied on it.
Hey buddy,
I don't know if you are ever gonna read this, but I wanted to apologize. I never wanted to hurt you. But I want you to know the truth. It wasn't my fault. Ann kissed me, and I tried to push her away, but she was too strong! And then you stood there with the most hurtet face I've ever seen. That destroyed me. I promised to never hurt you, but even that I can't do. I am sorry, Joe. I know that you can't forgive me, and I accept that.
This is a final goodbye than.
I will never forget you, Joe.
Ben.
