Ben's POV
He wasn't there.
I knew it from the moment I wrote this note and put it under the door.
But I understand. I understand that he can't forgive me.
It feels like somebody ripped out my heart. Joe hates me. What fool am I to believe that he could love me. I mean look at me. I wouldn't deserve him, even if he would love me.
I got to a bar and ordered me a drink. Suddenly somebody came up to me and said :"You are Ben Hardy, right? I am a huge fan of yours! I saw you in Bohemian Rhapsody and you did amazing work!" I tried me on a smile and responded :"Thanks! Yes, I am Ben." The woman smiled and asked :"I got a question." "Yeah?" The woman giggled a bit and said :"Are you and Joe really a couple?"
Dear God.
I stayed quiet for a bit and took a big sip of my drink.
With the eyes on my drink I responded :"No." and then the tears came up again. The woman recognized them and said :"Is everything ok?" I looked her in the eyes and said :"Nothing is ok." And so I told a complete stranger the story about what happened and about my feelings for Joe. I didn't even knew her name, but I told her my biggest secret. And so we talked for about 2 hours and got completely drunk. I found out that her name is Suzie and that she is about 20. We talked about her and my life, about my career and her job. She is an unknown musician with a wonderful voice. I don't know why, but it felt like I knew her my whole life. It was amazing to talk to somebody that believed me. After another hour of talking - and drinking - I was so drunk that I got the idea of visiting Joe at his house. Suzie, drunk how she was, was completely amazed by the idea of that, and so I payed, gave Suzie my phone number and made my way to Joe's house.
Joe's POV
I sat there for about 3 hours and read the note over and over again.
He misses me.
But does it have to be a Final Goodbye? No. I am gonna visit Ben. I am finally gonna confess my feelings.
I stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes and cheeks. I'll have to call Rami first, he's probably worried about me. The sound of Rami's voice filled my ear :"Joe? Where the hell are you? We searched for you everywhere! We thought you killed yourself! You weren't in the park, you weren't at mine, you weren't at home,-" "I am in the Park Rami."I said with quiet voice. He responded :"No you are not! We are standing right in the middle of it and you are not there! We even called Gwil to help us searching! We were really worried Joe. Please come to us. I need to see you, to realize that you are still alive." "I'll be right there." I said.
And then I walked along the little path with the feel of guilt in my stomach.
As I was in the near of the meating point Rami already ran to me and felt crying in my arms.
"Dear God Joe it thought you were dead" he said while hugging me even tighter. "I am here Rami. It's alright." I responded. He left the hug and looked me in my eyes :"When you do this again I am gonna kill you." I couldn't stop myself and broke down in laughter. Rami laughed too and we made our way to the other one's. Lucy was the first of the two that hugged me. "Oh thank God you're alive Joe." she whispered in my chest. She left my hug to make room for Gwil. He looked me in the eyes and for the first time in my life, I saw tears in his eyes. The only thing that he said was :"Idiot" and then he gave me the tightest hug I ever had. I could hardly breathe, but I found the Air to say :"I know." As I left the hug I asked :"so, who wants to get some food?" Everybody raised his hand and we made our way to an Chinese restaurant.
*Later that day*
After we ate, we decided to go to a club and get some drinks. We were already pretty drunk, as I decided to tell Rami that I am ready to go home again. He responded that he's fine when I am and so we finished this topic. The DJ was really good, and so we stayed till it was around 3 a.m. We had drunk too much, but that didn't matter. Rami and Lucy went home an half hour before us, so gwil and I were alone. Gwil wanted to walk me home, in this special way to Ramis, and so we took a long walk under the lights of the stars. We talked, and as we came home Gwil set a really serious face on. "Joe, we have to talk." "But we already talked the hole way down here" I said while smiling at him. "I'm serious." he said while sitting down on the chairs. I realized that I should stop joking around and so I sat down next to him. "Is something wrong?" I asked. "No. Well, yes, kinda. Ok now listen. I know, that you are straight, but I just have to tell you. Since I met you, you always meant more to me than the others did." He took a deep breath and said :"I love you Joe. But I don't wanna put you under pressure or something because I know that you're straight and that you don't want me and-" And then I pressed my lips on his.
I hate myself for this. He's one of my best friends and I don't wanna play with his heart, but it just felt right to do it. It was the best kiss I've had in a long time. He's really good at thi-
fuck.
what an I even doing? I pulled away and stood up, gwil followed me. "I'm sorry Gwil, but I can't do this." Gwilym looked me in my eyes and asked :"Can't do what?" I put my eyes on the ground and answered :"Lie to you.
Gwil, you're one of the best friends I've ever had, but just can't reply your feelings. This was probably one of the sweetest things anybody ever said to me but I just can't play with you're heart. I'm sorry." Gwil looked to the ground and nodded sadly. I raised his chin so that he looked in my eyes and said :"Oh darling I don't wanna hurt you. You're one of the most amazing and pretty people on this planet earth!" I pulled him into a hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Joe?" "Yes gwil?" "Is there somebody you love?" I blushed and responded :"Yes. But you are way more important then he is to me." "He?" Gwil left the hug and stared into my eyes, with a kind of curiosity in his eyes and embarrassment in his smile. "Well, yes." "Who is it?" Gwil asked. Would he understand it? Yes, he's gonna. "Joe?" "OK. It's Ben. I liked him since the moment I met him, but I will never prefer him over you, ok?" "I knew it." Gwil showed me his brightest smile and pulled me into a tight hug. "So you aren't mad?" "Why should I be? I'm happy when you're happy. And now go home, what if he's waiting for you?" He said while leaving the hug. I looked him in the eyes and said :"Thanks Gwil." He just smiled at me and so I said goodbye and made my way to my house.
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So hey guys I know that this chapter is trash but I wanted to post it because it's Leezzello so yeah :)
