Singled Out

Being the bigger person

(It's been a little while since I've been on here and I might have forgot he story line so can someone inlighted me on past events. Thanks💋)

Beyoncé

So it's been a while since me and Lani have spoken, as much as I hate to say it I missed her. I missed all my babies and I missed they're interaction with me and my kids. I would love to see them but every time I bring myself to walk a length to the other house, I always cry thinking about Kehlani.

How we made love on rainy nights to showering together in the early mornings. Even though I don't want to think of her I think of the bear she made me. I spent nights thinking of what she meant and spent days trying to decode her hidden words.

I miss her short hair and running my hands threw her curls, I missed her filling me up not just physically but emotionally. I feel deprived of the happiness I deserve and that's why I can't face her. Without knowing it she took my joy along with my heart, I don't know what this feeling is but it's something I've never felt. I feel empty inside and I know they say toxic relationships are unhealthy but I miss her... all of her.

I sat in my bed with only a black K.I.S.S shirt Kehlani left behind. I lay rubbing my big stomach as the children kicked me non stop. My mind raced a hundred miles per minute, I sat as Unthinkable by smiley blasted threw my room speakers. I sat sobbing finally drained from my life, the only reason I've decided to stay is because of my children. As I sang along to the song tears had finally stopped spilling from my eyes I seen she had posted the ultrasound photo tagging Nicki.

I didn't even have the energy to cry anymore so I decided to go to sleep since I'm going to the studio later on. As I was drifting off I left a couple dips in my bed. I slightly opened my eyes to see Ariyah, Kamrie, Harmony, Success, Remody, and Melody all starting to get comfortable on my bed. I left the kids smother me as we all eventually fell asleep together.

"Wake up baby" I heard and opened my eyes to see Kehlani straddling my smiling wider than ever. "Baby today's the day" she said and I immediately smiled. "Today's the day for Nicki's ultrasound" I said smiling. We walked out of our two bedroom apartment making it to our SUV. We drove in silence both eager to see the gender of our child. Once we were there in the room they put the cold gel onto her belly as me and Kehlani had each of her hands. "Baby I love you" she said to me, I then smiled before kissing her. After Kehlani kissed her the baby popped up on the screen. "So what is it" I asked as I rested a hand on my belly. "Ma'am I don't seem to know" she said to me, then all of a sudden  blood started to seep from between my legs. "Kill it" Kehlani screamed punching Nicki' s stomach but I'm the one that received the pain.

"Rush her to the ER" I heard them before I know it I was being pushed down a hall at full speed leaving a trail of blood behind me. Once they got me on the operation table they stuck these scissors into me. "Push Ms. Parrish" I heard and immediately started to push with all my strength.
Once the first one was born all the doctors fell silent. Threw the pain I reached for my child as they just looked at the baby with sympathy. I didn't hear any crying making me nervous, "it's a girl" the lady whispered.

"Give me my baby" I screamed as I cried but these weren't regular tears these were streams of blood. I started to sweat trying to suppress the pain as small strands of hair stuck to my face. They handed her to me and she was covered in blood with her eyes still shut. I screaming as I gave birth to the other two children "ma'am" she said looking at me. I looked at her "can you do something for me" she said and I nodded threw gritted teeth. "Can you wake up for me" she said as I head a puzzled look "huh" I said "wake up" she said shaking me. "Wake up" she said shaking me again "wake up"

"Mom wake up" I shot up from my bed seeing Kereme wearing a worried expression on her face. I sat up breathing heavily I told her to go to her room and I took a quick shower. As I washed in the shower I couldn't help but to still think about the last events in my dream. Im not sure what it meant but im sure this dream was either a sign or a warning. I let out a stressed sigh as I rubbed my still growing belly, as I sat washed my hair Rita came into the bathroom and washed my back also rinsing my hair. Once I was finished she helped me from the shower and dried me off. She resumed to get me ready for the day.

Once I was ready, Rita cooked us breakfast as the kids got ready. Once everyone was ready Rita, Solange, and Gabrielle decided to come with me and the kids to the studio. Right once everyone was out Solange helped me walk out the door, out of nowhere she stopped and was starring at something so I followed her eyes. I seen Onicka walking to Kehlani's door with her small baby bump showing in her spandex shirt. She then looked at me and smirking rubbing her small stomach before she continued to walk to her door. I hurried to the van and onceeveryone was into the car I took a shaky breath before one single tear fell. I immediately whipped it then Melody reached for me so I grabbed her as she tried to pull my dress. I moved my dress and connected her to my breast. As we made our way to the studio a song came on and it sounded like Onika.

Am I just a fool?
Blind and stupid for loving you
Am I just a silly girl?
So young and naive to think you were
The one who came to take claim of this heart
Cold hearted shame you'll remain just afraid in the dark

As I listened to the song I got more heated by the second. I couldn't believe she would lie, and since when did she start making music anyway!? I didn't let it get to me but best believe I didn't brush it off either.

This is war

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Ok so thank you everyone for rocking wit me. I know I haven't published anything in a minute but I have been working on new things, but I've been alittle busy wit school.
Hope you enjoyed. Till next time my little nuggets🌹💋