𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

e i g h t

She stared.

Her reflection staring back at her as she noticed her tanned skin slowly going pale and the bags underneath her eyes growing only darker and heavier.

She stared and hoped that it was just a phase, she prayed that the confessions that slipped past her lips would only bring them back up.

If anything it felt like she was falling deeper into his lies and smirks that seemed genuine but only to be made up of mischief.

It was too late for Lenita however as she was left vulnerable for him and it was so easy for him to have her.

The crying never stopped and the sleepless nights never faded and when Harry finally managed to sleep Lenita would let the tears leave her eyes until her pillow was almost soaked and the purple and orange colours grew in the sky as the clock ticked to five and the glow shone on their pale skin.

She was growing into a wreck that she didn't really want to be.

Smoking a cigarette to cope with the stress and the hunger and the lack of love she didn't feel from him anymore.

She never really liked the smell, reminding her too much of a home that never felt like home but maybe that's just who she was.

A person that could never really be home to someone.

Lenita sat in the back of her class as she usually did, her clothes more baggier on her than last month the stubs of her fingers all cut and bruised and hair a mess.

Yet she still smiled when she was with him and told him she loved him and that she needed him.

And he would kiss her neck leaving a mark to remember him by.

"I want to give you something," he said to her, kissing her everywhere, everywhere to feel the love and want she so desperately craved.

"You did?" She asked him in shock and he nodded his head, getting up to get the ring off his dresser, placing it on her middle finger.

"It's yours now."

"It was yours before?" She asked and he nodded. "It's a bit small for your finger don't you think?" She teased him and he laughed.

It was a good moment, one she cherished.

"Had it when I was younger but now I want you to have it."

And she hugged him and kissed his cheeks and his lips and everything just felt so good with him.

"I want you to have it so everyone knows your mine."

She played with the ring that remained on her finger ever since, not listening to the words that left the professors mouth as she got lost in her thoughts as she always did.

Unfortunately she was consumed by him, everything was about him.

She was his but he was never hers because she just needed somewhere to belong and she belonged with him and only him.

And that's what her mind kept telling her anyways.

And after class she would go to his locker and she would hold his hand and she would need to tell him constantly that she loved him but it was never said back and at the end of each night it ended with a cigarette and a cup of wine.

Because deep down she knew he was never hers.

And so she stared.

She stared at her reflection.

Hiding the scars and the heavy bags with some makeup.

"My pretty girl, hm," he would say to her every morning as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kiss her neck, marking the same spot he always did.

"Won't you say that you love me, Nita. Tell me how much you need me."

And she would close her eyes and hold back the tears that always beckoned to leave her eyes before opening them and looking at their reflection.

"I love you... love you so much."

Why did it have to be so true?

"Tell me you need me, angel, hm? Tell me how much you need me."

She kept her lips together not wanting to say it to him because a part of her knew he fed from her vulnerability and maybe feeding from hers made him feel less vulnerable.

It was hard to tell with him.

"Lenita," he hummed with caution. "Tell me, love."

Nothing.

And so he grabbed her wrist and his eyes grew darker and there were no more nicknames and giddy smiles as he stared at her with anger.

And the tightness around her wrist only grew tighter and tighter until the circulation stopped and her eyes filled with water but her lips felt numb and all she could do was stare at him.

"I need you more than anyone," she finally said back to him. Harry let her go, humming in content, kissing her cheek before climbing into the shower, her tears leaving her eyes.

She stared at her wrist knowing it would bruise later on, leaving the washroom before he could hear her cries.

It was only by accident, she would tell herself. He didn't know what he was doing.

However, the longer she told herself that lie, the darker the bruise grew and tears continued to cloud her eyes.

He didn't mean it
He didn't mean it
He didn't mean it

She should've known better however as that was the lie she had told herself for years.

She should've known better.

But she didn't.

So she stared.

Stared at herself

Stared at the bruise.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said to her reaching for her arm, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her wrist looking in her eyes with false love and adoration.

"I know you didn't," she whispered to him and she engraved it in her brain so many time's that it was almost natural for her to say the words.

"I would never intend on hurting you, pretty girl, you mean so much to me."

She heard this all before yet she continued to believe the lies that she heard for years.