Adam Gontier As A Teacher

Getting A Ride

As Adam is leaving his ex job, he stops as he remembers that he doesn't have a car. "Shit!" He whispered as he called Neil. "What do you want?" Neil huffed. "Come get me!" Adam demanded. "No!"
"Why?"
"Adam, I can't keep picking you up from the strip club every time. I have a job I need to do."
"I'm not at the strip club. I'm at work."
"Mhm... So why do you need me to pick you up then?"
"I got fired because my boss was butt hurt because I called him and other employees names even though they are everything I call them."
"Seriously dude?"
"What? It's not MY fault!"
"Yes it is because you're the reason people make fun of us as a band."
"No I'm not. That would be you. I'm the reason the band is famous."
"Whatever man. I have shit to do. I can't keep driving you around all the time."
"But I was just asking if y-"
But that was when Neil suddenly hangs up. "Great!" He sighed as his boss approaches him. "Why are you still here?"
"Oh I don't know. Maybe because I've been trying to get someone to pick me up since I don't have a car, but clearly you're too stupid to notice that."
"Really dude? You're a grown adult and you don't have a car?"
"No, I already told you. I lost my licence after I got caught drunk driving a few years ago."
"Okay. Now let me ask you another question. Why the fuck would you drunk drive?"
"Uh... Because I'm a better driver drunk than the other guys in the band are sober...?"
"Get the fuck out! I can't even look at you anymore."
"I was planning on it. I was just trying to-"
"OUT!!!!" He screamed. "Can I just make one more call?"
"No, you are either gonna leave or I'm calling the cops!"
"But that was the call I was going to make."
"That's great! Are you also gonna tell them about how you wouldn't get the fuck out of my workplace?"
"No, I'm going to tell them that you fired me for a really stupid reason!"
"But you said you wanted to go!"
"I know I did, and I still do want to leave. It's just that you fired me all over my honesty!"
"That's not honesty though. It's you being a dickhead."
"How can I be a dickhead if there's no dick on my head?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind. I forgot, you're too stupid to understand what I said. That was my bad."
"Leave now!"
"Fine, I'll leave, but you have to drive me to and from the strip club every night for the rest of your life."
"Fuck that!"
"Then you have to let me stay until I can get someone to pick me up."
"Fine." The boss groaned as he stormed away. That was when Adam calls Brad. "Hey beautiful boyfriend."
"What do you want you piece of shit?"
"Why are you being such a dick? I was just asking if you could come pick me up."
"I'm being a dick because I caught you fucking my wife the other day!"
"I told you it was going to happen if you didn't get the duct tape off my face, so you have nobody to blame but yourself."
"I didn't get the duct tape off your face because someone should've glued your mouth shut a long time ago. Anything else?"
"Yes. Come get me!"
"No!"
"Why?!"
"I already told you why!"
"Wait! Didn't you say you guys were planning to divorce anyway?"
"Yeah?"
"Then why does me fucking her concern you?"
"Because genius, I don't know if you realize this, but we don't even have our papers ready yet."
"So?"
"SO WE ARE STILL MARRIED!!!" Brad yelled. "So?"
"Whatever. We're done talking until you decide to stop being an idiot."
"No we're not!"
"Yes we are!"
"No, you're coming to pick me up whether you like it or not!"
"Why should I?"
"Because I got fired from my job...?"
"Seriously?!"
"Yep."
"Fine, but this is the last time I am picking you up or dropping you off anywhere!"
"No it's no-"
But then Brad suddenly hangs up as the boss shortly returns. "What now, shit head?"
"Did you finally find someone to come take you away?"
"Yes shit head, I did. Anything else?"
"Oh, perfect!" He exclaimed as he grabbed Adam by his shirt collar and tossed him outside. "Bye! Have a nice life!" Adam's now ex boss called as he slammed the door laughing hysterically.