The Keepers: Earth, Iron, and Blood ~A Shadowhunters Fanfiction ~

Chapter Fourteen

Laughter and loud voices scream through my mind like a raging train. I don't know how to stop them. I curl up as much as I can, hoping I can outwait whatever Aspen is trying to do to me this time. All the anger, sadness, frustration, stress, anxiety, all of it just floods to the surface and I can't stop the tears from pouring out. I'm so tired, it's like something is sucking the power from my Stamina Rune. It's lost its power much faster than it should have. Why it's fading out faster than it should, I don't know. All I know is complete exhaustion has me trapped on the shower floor and my head feels like it's about to explode. There's nothing I can do to help myself since my stele is in my bedroom. No one is going to hear my cries, at least not with the shower running. The dial is on the other wall...I'm too tired to move. I come to accept that this could very well be it. I'm having a nightmare while being awake. I just don't see Jace this time. But I can hear things, and I can sense things, and it's all very terrifying. It feels like hours have past, every single noise I think I hear outside of the ones playing in my mind, I ignore. It's all in your head...he's playing mind games with you. The water is suddenly turned off and before I can gain the strength to open my eyes, mostly because I'm scared of what I'm going to see, I'm engulfed in a towel and someone's arms are holding me tightly. I shake, not knowing if what's happening is truly real. But suddenly, all the noises stop. All the sensations stop. All that's left is a nagging headache. My anxiety level is through the roof. All I hear now is the sound of panicked breathing.

"Lizzy, Lizzy, come on...open your eyes, look at me," he pleads as he raises my head, cupping my cheek with his hand. It's Jace. Oh, my God, it's Jace. Tears are still rushing down my face as I slowly open my eyes, still scared as to what I may see. Is he going to be dead? I'm met with golden eyes. Golden, scared to death, eyes. I sob when I realize that it's really him. Every time I have tried to sleep over the past three nights, I would hear Aspen laughing and be tormented with images of Jace laying there, grey and cold. I slowly curl up on his lap and wrap my arms around his torso, hugging him tightly as I cry into his chest. I'm not sure what he did, but whatever it was, it blocked the connection that had been formed between me and that pain-in-the-ass warlock. Everything is silent, and it comes as such a relief.

"I'm so sorry, Lizzy...I'm so sorry," he whispers gently as he rests his head against mine, keeping me as close as he can. "I didn't know, I should have known, though. You're going to be alright; I promise. I promise you everything will be fine. We're going to kill him tomorrow, Lizzy. You'll be free after it's over. You'll be safe. Everyone will be ok." He closes his eyes, squeezing them tightly. "I know I'm an ass. I know I've hurt you. I know that I'm not perfect. I know the idea of losing you is terrifying. I also know that I suck at this! I've never had a relationship like this before. I've never cared this much about anyone before and I'm so scared that I'm going to mess this all up. I'm afraid that I'm actually messing it up without even meaning to..."

My voice hasn't found its way back to me yet. They're leaving tomorrow. The realization makes my tears fall faster and I bury my face into his neck. Tears of fear, sorrow, anger, a hot mixture of every emotion; but, mostly fear leave a path down my cheeks. I don't want anything bad to happen, but I know that it can and that scares the hell out of me. I know I need to try to be positive, but I just don't know if I can do that. I simply shake my head softly, unable to let my emotions out any other way than through my tears. I shift slightly so one of my arms is around his neck. I lightly place my hand on the back of his head, my fingertips barely stroking his hair. I want him to know that I don't hate him. He plays into my touch, responding by grazing his fingertips through my hair. Neither of us care that we're soaked, sitting on the shower floor, and that I'm naked. Honestly, I don't care. I really don't. I've never had to impress Jace, it's not something that I'm even concerned about. I've got bigger issues than that. We both sit in silence for a minute before, amazingly, Jace stands in one swift movement with me still in his arms. He carefully carries me out to the bedroom and walks over to the bed. "I'm going to sit you down, ok? I'm going to get you some clothes before you get a chill."