Imagines with Niall Horan

87. He yells at you

The first time he yells at you, you know you're really back to being okay.

Until that moment, even in the months since you became engaged, Niall has held himself back slightly. He's this strange middle version of Niall that you have to learn to navigate around; not the vibrant Niall that everyone else sees, eyeing the world like something to be conquered through sheer unadulterated charm, not that public front, but... a facade in a different way. It's born from a place of love and care but you can still see that Niall has been holding himself carefully, back a little, always making sure that he's saying the right things and going the step. Pulling out chairs, waking early to make breakfast, bringing you flowers, texting you just enough but not too much.

Niall has been making himself the perfect boyfriend, like he's afraid the first time he raises his voice or pushes an issue, things will shatter.

You have the same doubts, you're just not as good at Niall as boxing yourself into whatever shape people want to see when they look at you. You let Niall take that hit, relieved even in a certain small way, knowing that as long as Niall's attention is so constant and he is so afraid, those fights won't happen. You can't predict your own reactions right now. You can't predict what words you'd hurtle at Niall and what mistakes he would make born out of the pain from that.

You have trust issues - not just with Niall, but with life and fate. You don't trust that good things won't be yanked out of your grasp and if you have to look the other way at Niall tucking those parts of himself down then guiltily you will, for as long as you can.

But Niall moves in and you live together, you're leaning how to be in each other's spaces so constantly, and there's bound to be friction. That friction wears at the shine of Niall's smile in those moments when you are testing his patience, or when someone has used up all of the hot water, or finished off the last of the juice without adding it to the grocery list.

It's really a miracle that Niall makes it almost two months before he yells at you.

A forgotten dinner, a missed reservation, a thoughtless remark about finances and it just - snaps.

You stand there while Niall yells, face flushed and mouth set, posture tight and screaming with the tension. "I just can't fucking-"

Niall stops mid-sentence and stares at you, stricken. He looks like he can't believe what he just did. He's wide-eyed with fear and his mouth works but no sound comes out.

You grin.

You can't help it, you grin.

You cross the room and grab Niall and kiss him and grin because Niall just yelled at you and you want to finish the fight but first you just want to do this, just kiss Niall, just let him know it's okay.

Niall's hands flex open and then land on your shoulders. He kisses back before he pushes away. "What..."

"You're right," you say, kissing him again. "I'm a bitch sometimes. It's okay to be mad when I get something wrong."

Niall's hands clutch at you suddenly. "Babe, I just..."

"I know," You say, cradling Niall back. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Niall sighs and all the fight goes out of him. You hug each other in the middle of the empty living room, hearts full and racing.

You're really okay now.