A mole's behind

7. Building walls and tearing them down

As always, you can skip this chapter if you want to avoid certain triggers, I will give a quick summary at the beginning of the next.

-------- TW: Insecurities, NSFW/ Adult content

--------The NSFW part is at the end, its start will be signaled and marked by two horizontal lines, so you can stop before it, if this isn't your jam. Sorry if this chapter is quite short without it.

POV Grian

Absentmindedly he mined and placed blocks. He didn't quite know what to do with himself. His thoughts kept going in circles. Though Iskall and their relationship had been his go-to thoughts for a while, he lingered on a very different hermit today: MumboGumbo, their infamous mole. He'd already managed to get on the other team and they would meet again soon. It would be the first time in quite a bit, since Grian had been avoiding him lately. Iskall's words were still ringing in his ears.

I think it's kinda hot.

Oh goodness me! He couldn't be serious.

Yet, there was this thought, no matter how hard he tried not to think it: Maybe, with Iskall's help, he could finally get the confidence to ask Mumbo out.

That's completely bonkers!

But his mind refused to let go of the vivid pictures of him and Mumbo making out. By all ghasts in the nether, he couldn't even handle Iskall at the moment. With all the weird stuff that had been appearing, Grian had barely had a chance to make up his mind. Why dream of doubling that, having two of these, when one was already more than he could handle? His insides clenched, a feeling that was becoming ever more familiar. If he kept stalling, surely neither of the men would want to stay with him.

He couldn't even get it on with one person, for Aethers sake. The sex.
This was bigger. More important than whatever crazy plans Iskall had or another fruitless go at flirting with Mumbo. Even if the moustached man kept popping up in his head. It was time for him to lay aside the chicken costume and overcome his doubts.

Grian sighed, switching to another part of the wall he was building. 

TW: NSFW/ Adult content

========================================================

With a new wall came new pictures. Vivid pictures.
Even if relationships were new to him, he was no stranger to pleasure.

Scenes from various porn movies flashed before his eyes.
They mingled with his doubts in the strangest ways.

He couldn't... how?
That... how did people do it?
He felt tense and suddenly very conscious of his butt.

I need to prepare.

*Timeskip brought to you by my partner's cat. (Did you know that cats hunt timeskips?)*

He nervously started up his computer. He felt like he was being watched, so he turned around to examine the room, but of course it was empty.

Gay sex, he typed.
The first entry was a porn website. A bell rang in his head and he switched to a private window, before he continued. Porn wouldn't help him as much. He knew these people were actors, so the real deal was probably a bit different.
One of the next was a Youtube video. It seemed to be some sort of mock sex ed class about gay sex. That could help.

Grian clicked on the link and jumped. A male voice was blasting loudly into the silence of his office. He used the L-button on his keyboard to skip the intro sequence. Condoms. Yeah, he knew he needed that. Lube, lots of lube. That seemed reasonable. Wtf was an enema?
He typed...

Nope.

Nope, nope, nope.

He got up and half-ran into the kitchen.

Out of habit he opened the fridge to stare into its white void for a while. There was nothing to eat, nothing to drink, just a jar of pickles. After a bit of mindless staring he took to the kitchen cupboard and retrieved a package of apple juice. He poured himself a glass.

His mind cleared as he gulped down the lukewarm juice.

Of course, butts contain, well, crap. He should have known that, it was common sense, no need to panic. He lingered at the kitchen counter, trying to get comfortable with the idea of rinsing his insides with water to have sex. Was there any way of avoiding this?

When he finished the juice, he went back to watch the rest of the video. He skipped big parts, it wasn't very useful, a lot of roleplay and setting the classroom scene that he really didn't need and he was on the verge of going to the next resource, when he noticed the tone changing.

"Just wait till your ready, okay? Because I wish I had done that."

He wasn't ready.

Was he? But he wanted to! His insides clenched again. The video went on in the background.

"...you're afraid that you're going to be judged by the other person. Because a lot of people do that, it's stupid, okay? Because no one should feel that way, everybody..."

The speaker didn't finish the sentence, but sighed.

"Be safe, too and remember that if you're ever not comfortable, you have a right to say so.
I don't know this little, weird boy of yours, but if he ever doesn't listen to you... I may be just 120 pounds, but I'll kick his ass, okay?"

Grian gulped. A knot had formed in his stomach. Doesn't listen to you... What a terrible thought. Why was there so much pain in the world? People were hurting each other. He tried to imagine being hurt like that, but he couldn't relate.

He was determined something like this wouldn't happen. Nobody would need to kick his butt, nor Iskall's.

He would prepare, get over his self-conscious feelings and get it over with. It was just a dick in a butt. No big deal.

A/N:

The video Grian mentions can be found here:

https://youtu.be/gGetcv4YVMI

You didn't think I made that up, did you? I think it's not the best ressource, but a surprisingly good one.
Another good resource that talks real talk about sex, play and bodies without being too cringey is this one:

(NSFW!) www.ohjoysextoy.com (NSFW!)

Please excuse if there are more mistakes than usual in this chapter.
I am currently on the lookout for a new beta reader, visit my user page for details.
Fade and I have parted ways since they are not comfortable reading NSFW stuff.

Last but not least, today we have an interesting question: You guys are reading an adult gay fanfiction (surprise!). Did you know what an enema is and that it might be a good idea if someone wants to get butt sex on? *

*Since I feel like, if at all, people might want to answer this anonymously: Here's a two-question poll:
https://forms.gle/7xyEdBmvqJJpxT5L7

 If there are more than 4 results, I might post a summary chart with one of the next chapters, so that you guys can see how others responded.