Long Love

Depression and suicide

⚠Warning sensitive chapter. You have been warned⚠

During the process of cutting myself it didn't hurt so much because I'm used to it that I can't feel pain
I whimper softly as memories from how my mom died by my father beating her to cutting her and then set her on fire.I died inside so hard ever since that day.That's actually how I got depressed.I couldn't even control my anger so I started beating,yelling,swinging,ignoring people for nothing.I went to anger management classes and got better but ever since then I've been depressed

I was still cutting myself I don't really care if I cut a vein or something I am also suicidal which means I be tryna kill myself and trying to commit suicide.I also have suicidal thoughts and one time I was in hospital for jumping off a 23 floor building.I was lucky because a bush broke my fall but I broke my arm neck and went for a leg operation
Ava was so worried she had a panic attack
Right after I healed both of my parents died,well my father killing my mother and then killed himself

The house was filled with my sobs and whimpers

I kept sobbing "I don't wanna do this anymore

I didn't hear someone come in I just felt familiar hands on waist picking me up
I was facing the window so the person grabbed me from the back
I started to panic and kicking and trying to get out of that person's grib
"Stop" I heard a familiar voice say
I turned around to see it was Jahseh.I calmed down and looked down watching the blood trail down my arm before hiding it

Jahseh

So after I stayed at Naomi's place then left I was craving for some Arizona and takis so I got in my car and drove off to the shop at the left side of the street and then parked in front of a abandoned house.I walked into the shop and walked down,making my way to the snack aisle. I took eight Fetty Wrap chips,four Arizonas and eight packets of takis
I'm a fat ass : - $
I bought myself a cool drink and went to the counter to see Geneva
My face sank
"Hey,so u got hoes answering your phone now" she said fake smiling
I swear I would knock that smile of her damn face

"Naomi is not a hoe she is my friend,in fact you actually the hoe between you and her" I said smiling at the last part

She sucked her teeth

"Why don't you forgive me" she said

"Let me tell you something why I don't forgive you is because you cause too much pain for me
Lemme ask you this question
What did he have that I don't huh....what did he give you that I didn't .......I loved you but you decided you're going to step out of a 3 year relationship to go let a man impregnate you that you met in three days and you got me in jail leaving me to survive on my own so suck dick and choke" I yelled

"I-I" she said

"You what cat got your tongue" I said
She just kept quiet

"Just don't talk to me ring my shit" I say coldly
She mumbled damn and rang them

"That will $56.89" she said
I pulled out a hundred dollar bill and gave it to her

"Keep the change" I say taking my things when she said wait
"I'm sorry--" she got cut off by me walking out

Walked to my car I heard a familiar voice say "I don't wanna do this anymore"
I quickly put my things in the car and locked it
It came from the house next to my car

Naomi

I went in to find her facing the window so I grabbed her waist picking her gently up
I think she panicked because she started kicking and trying to get out of my hold
Damn she kicked so hard and almost knocked me down. She is 5'6 but can fight
I finally said "stop"
And she finally stopped and turned around to see its me and calmed down and she looked down at her arm before hiding it
I could not see because its dark in here and there is no light

"J-jah" she stuttered as she looked at me

"Why you crying" I said pulling her into a hug

She pulled away  showed me her hand she hid before
I touched it and felt warm liquid on my fingers and took my phone out and put the flashlight on
I saw it was blood
I looked at her arm and she winced and my jaw dripped as I realized she had a lot of cuts on her hand.Fresh and old ones

I pulled her gently up with her other hand and tripped over something but didn't fall down.It was Naomi's bookbag
I picked it up and carried it while finding the switch and turned it on

The room surprisingly looked neat and tidy.It was pink and purple and the floor tile was blue
We went out to my car and sped off driving to my house to treat her cuts on her arm

We arrived and then I led her to my bathroom

"Naomi you could have seriously hurt yourself" I said as I pulled out rubbing alcohol, bandages and cotton wool out of my cupboard

I took her hand and smeared sanitizor on her cuts and she winced.I ran the water in my basin and put her hand under the running water washing away her blood
I took a cloth and wiped her hand clean
I took some cotton wool and applied rubbing alcohol on it and held her down

"I'm s-sorry Jahseh" she said as her voice  cracked

"We'll talk about this later and this might hurt so prepare yourself" I said

She nodded

I rubbed her cuts with the cotton wool and the rubbing alcohol
She bit her lip
Damn😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

I finished and put Band-Aids over her cuts

"All done" I said

"Thank you" she said

"Now go rest...you need it" u said running my hands through her thick,dark,black hair
She yawned and put her hair in a messy bun
She looked cute
I let her sleep with me because my bed is more comfortable
Don't be dirty minded
She fell asleep in an instant and I chuckled

I feel sorry for her

What she is going through

All the pain she's bearing

She's like me and we are alike
I finally fell asleep

Hey babies💕
I hope you enjoyed this very much and make sure to comment and vote
Also I have a secret book I published
Its the sequel to my latest book do If you wanna read it hmu in my DM's and follow me on Instagram @laikaemia
First forty people get to be in the second sequel and the third that us out too.Its a xxxtentacion book✌

Sorry for any spelling mistakes✌
Bye love ya
Sorry if you feel like it's too short😘

   🌸2019/06/23🌸

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