TMNT Mikey X reader

"You can't, It's not going to do you any good!"

A/N Hey guys in this one you and Mikey are 18. If you are TRIGGERED by mentions of certain mental disorders, alcoholism or stuff like that please leave this chapter. This is a fair warning. In this chapter, the reader suffers from I.E.D (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) and depression. I will explain what IED is, "Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation". I got this definition from MayoClinic.org, I didn't make this up and if you live with it I promise that it gets better and you are strong just keep hanging on, and that goes for people with depression too. So sorry for the cussing.

~Y/N's POV ~

I hadn't had an explosion in a while and my mom has noticed but the only reason why is because she hasn't seen any of the ones I did have.  I've always left the apartment my mom and I share, I don't like to blow up in front of her because it stresses her out and hurts her. I hate seeing her upset but this time she wouldn't let me leave. I've always bottled everything up and its no different this time. Ever since my dad took my brother and my sister my mom's drinking has been out of control. I hate that she drinks, it upsets me. My train of thought was broken as my mother in a drunken state shoved me into the wall next to our staircase."What the fuck is wrong with you! You always leave me Y/N!" My mom screamed at me. I looked away from her and down at my hands which were shaking, I knew I had to leave. "Mom please just let me leave I'll go and stay at April's place," I pleaded with her to let me go. "You're the reason your dad left! He couldn't handle you!" she screamed at me as I was walking away. I broke just a little bit and let angry tears slip and my fist clenched. I slammed my fist into the wall that I was pushed into causing pictures to fall and a new hole to be formed. " I don't understand why you have to be this way, we really did mess you up didn't we, I'm so sorry Y/n.." My mom cried. I pushed past her and picked up my overnight bag and my phone.  As I walked out I slammed the door so hard that the wall shook and rattled. 

~TIME SKIP~

I walked through the empty ally ways and let out an angry and sad scream. I then brushed myself off and wiped the tears that were falling from my eyes.  I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, I grabbed it and saw Mikey's caller ID. I declined the call and put my phone back into my pocket. "Wow! I see how loved I am," Mikey said sarcastically. I looked up at him in complete shock." What are you doing here Mikey?" I asked looking away from him and wiping my eyes so he wouldn't notice that I was crying. "I came to check in on you," He said. "I'm fine, there now you can go home and go to bed," I replied giving him a bit of the cold shoulder. "Y/N I'm your boyfriend you can talk to me," he said while walking closer to me. " I'm fine, see I'm smiling aren't I?" I questioned hoping he would think I was telling the truth. "Stop lying to me Y/n!" his voice was stern and filled with concern. I didn't say anything else after that. " You can't keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do any good." He replied. "Why? Why can't I?" I yelled with tears streaming down my face. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, its all I ever do is hurt people, I don't want to be me anymore Mikey!" I sobbed. " Keep going, come on let it out." He said as he just stood there. "Come on Y/n let it out!" He said a bit louder. " I'm lost," I sobbed."I'm so fucking lost." Mikey walked towards me and wrapped his strong arms around me. I let out even more sobs as I fell into Mikey's arms. I slammed my hands onto his chest knowing that no matter how hard I try I won't be able to hurt him physically. "I don't want to hurt you or anyone else, Mikey," I sobbed as I continued to cry. "How long?" He questioned. " How long what?" I said. 

*Mikey's POV*

"How long have you been bottling this up for?" I pushed her further to tell me. There was a moment of silence before she answered softly hiccuping from her sobs. "A long time, I don't even know how long anymore," she said. I stood there holding her for a while longer until she started to cry again."It still hurts Mikey," she cried." I know, I know baby, it will for a while but we'll get through this I promise okay?" I mumbled to her while pressing her body even tighter to mine. 

~TIME SKIP~

We headed back to the lair after she had calmed down completely. I had taken her to my room to cuddle for a little bit. While she was laying on my chest I was rubbing her back. "I love you, Mikey," she said as she fell asleep. "Love you too Y/N," I said as I drifted to sleep as well.