hard | daniel seavey

chapter eight

   Daniel's arms were still wrapped around me when I woke up. I looked over at the little alarm clock on his night stand. 7:16. I slowly slide out from under his arms, instantly missing them. I put my jeans back on but kept Daniel's shirt on. Before leaving, I scribbled a quick note to thank him again and tell him I'd text him later. I picked up my bag and my sweatshirt and headed out the door.

   The house was quiet when I tip toed down the steps. I wasn't sure if Jack's baby were still asleep, and I definitely didn't want to wake her. Or any of the boys down that had fallen asleep down here. As much as I liked them, I didn't want them to get the wrong idea. I didn't want to be seen as that girl.

    As I passed by the kitchen, someone coughed, making me pause. I slowly turned around to see Jonah, Jack, and Corbyn all leaning against the counter. They all smirked at me as Jonah took a sip of his coffee.

   "Hi, Madison. Nice seeing you here so early," Jack said while failing to keep a straight face.

     "Jonah, mind correcting me, but is that Daniel's shirt?" Corbyn spoke in a fake British accent. Jonah nodded and lifted his pinky as he took another sip of his coffee.

      "Ha-Ha. Very funny," I laughed and walked towards them.

      "Does he know you're leaving so early?" Jonah asked seriously. I did feel bad for kind of darting out so quick, but it was Tuesday. And Tuesdays are always when Aaron goes out to campus for a live lecture before 12. If I wanted to sort things out with him, it had to be now.

    "No," I shook my head sadly. "But I've been thinking about something and if I want to sort things out with Aaron, I want to do it before it's too late."

   "Understandable. But what 'things' do you need to sort out, if you don't mind me asking?" Jack asked, the boys nodding along.

    "Things just aren't working anymore," I answered honestly. It hurt to say it outloud. "I don't know if leaving is the definate answer right now, but what I do know is that we need space."

    "Well if space is with Daniel, please be careful with him. We know you have good intentions and wouldn't ever use him or anything, but we've seen him hurt one too many times. We just want him to happy." Corbyn added sympathetically. 

    "And you too," Jonah smiled at me. "You're family now. Family sticks together through everything."

    "Pst, Jonah," Jack whispered loud enough for me to hear. "I don't think family wears each other's shirts and sleeps in the same bed."

    "Okayyyy, that's my cue to go!" I laughed nervously. The boys all laughed as I turned towards the door. "I'll see you guys soon!" The door was followed by the goodbyes of the 3 boys in the kitchen. I laughed to myself as I walked to my car.

   The drive home was devastatingly long. I tried thinking of what to say to him, but I couldn't. I knew whatever I was going to say was going to hurt him. But, I also knew that he always managed to hurt me without trying.

    When I opened the door, I saw Aaron sitting on the couch with his phone to his ear. He quickly hung up and ran over to me, wrapping his arms around my body.

    "Madison! I was worried sick! Where did you go?" He tried kissing me, but I stepped back.

    "I went to a friend's. We need to talk." I sighed and moved over to the couch. He followed, sitting next to me.

     "What's going on? You're not leaving me, are you?" I could tell by his voice he was gueninley worried. My eyes trailed down to the floor.

     "Not necessarily," I began. His face dropped and he to protest, but I held my hand up. "I think we just need space. Ever since we moved out here and started living with each other, it's brought out the worst in both of us. You started drinking more, and I haven't been myself in a long time."

     "I can change. I'll stop drinking, I'll stop getting high. I'll do whatever it takes," He kneeled on the floor and held my hands in his. His eyes welded with tears. "Just please don't leave me."

     "Aaron, you're literally begging me to stay with you," I let a few tears slip as I looked at him. "You wouldn't be if things were still working."
  
     I got up and walked to our bedroom. I began to repack my clothing. Aaron watched me from the doorway.

      "Is it because of that night?" Aaron asked out of nowhere. The memories of it flooded through my head. I closed my eyes, stopping the tears that threatened to pour. "I've apologized so many times, why can't you forgive me?"
    
   "It wasn't about that situation," I zippered my suitcase. I grabbed my bag and rolled my suitcase past him. "But now it gives me more of a reason to say that we need distance."

---

     Stacey sat in front of me as we waited for our plates to be cleaned off. I told her what had happened with Aaron. She listened, nodding her head along as I spoke. Zach grew to my best friend, but this was something I needed a girls input on.

    "You just left without a word?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee. I nodded in response, looking out the window. "So what are you gonna do now?"

      "I have more than enough in my savings to get an apartment. Then with the weekly checks from my internship, I should be fine on my own." I looked at the clock on the wall. It was already 12. "I might go to Zach's and see if he can help me find something."

     "Who's Zach?" She asked. I've talked about Zach countless of times before, but never really explained who he was.

    "Zach Herron-" I responded, but got cut off by her choking on her drink.

    "You're friends with Zach Herron? Like from Why Don't We?" She asked in a high pitched voice. I nodded as her eyes trailed down to my shirt. I was still wearing Daniel's shirt from last night. "That explains the shirt! I wouldn't take you to be the boy band type!"

    "And from your reaction, I would assume you are?" I laughed weakly at her.

   "So does that mean you're friends with all of them? Including Daniel Seavey?" The mention of his name made my stomach flip. I tried to keep the heat from rising in my cheeks, but I couldn't help it.

     "Yea, why?" I tried my best to play it off.
 
      "You would be the bestest friend ever if you, ya know, told him about me?" She edged on with a smile. She wasn't serious, was she? I pursed my lips as the waitress dropped off the check and cleaned off our table. We split the check and I almost immediately stood up to leave. "Wait, Madi!"

    I cringed at the name. I hated when people called me that. Daniel did, but it felt like home when he did. I turned and looked at her.

     "Think about it, at least?" She gave me a reassuring smile. All I did was nodd before walking out of the restaurant.