Survival

Chapter 46 Guilt

A/N: This chapter contains a scene of a sexual nature. If you're not comfortable with that type of content you can stop reading halfway through page 4 . 

Olivia grimaced as she took off the safety vest and placed it in her locker. She didn't need to look up to know that Steven's eyes followed her every move as they had since she came back from the director's office the day she admitted failure. She wouldn't have failed had the mission not targeted her weaknesses, weakness he knew all too well after having a hand in their creation.

"I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"You were a respected member of the military and now you run errands more suited to whores."

Olivia's jaw clenched and she dug her nails into her palm. "Every mission presents different challenges."

"And lying with a man who beats you simply to gain intel is a reasonable mission in your eyes?"

"I do not lie with him for intel," Olivia muttered. She had entirely different motives for that part of their relationship. She knew that letting Steven believe Edward was responsible could lead to complications; however, she couldn't admit the defeat of revealing the wounds as those of her failure.

"Highly esteemed women shouldn't be forced to act in this way."

They shouldn't, but then again the director held her in the lowest esteem possible without evicting her.

"Careful, the walls have ears. You may not find your next mission so accommodating."

Steven shifted his weight and looked up to the far corner of the room. "Are you free tonight?"

"We're work colleagues, Steven. I'd appreciate if we stuck to those terms."

Either way, she had orders to report to the director in five days time and didn't plan to come empty handed again. Anything Steven had in mind would only waste her time and energy. Her sides still ached from the last 'lesson' and there would be no way to talk her way out of it again. Failure was not an option.

Edward was beginning to see through any acts deliberately put on for him, like her last ruse. It had been a long shot to re-use the initial outfit. The only tactic that seemed to work lately was honesty and soul-bearing. The thought was terrifying. There were only so many layers to strip away before her marred soul would stand bare and ugly. Edward may not have had the most flattering skin, but the core of his being shone brightly.

When she reached her room, she changed out of her uniform and into a loose fitting green button down top and dark pants. She lit a couple candles and chilled a bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge. He probably didn't like wine, but she didn't have anyone else to share it with. She settled into the couch and fell asleep.     

A knock came on her door a couple minutes early, according to the watch she had synchronized with colony time. She shuffled around the room and fixed the position of a couple pillows on the couch before going up to the door. Through the peep-hole, Edward stood without the predictable smile on his face. As soon as the door opened, it reappeared on his face. Had he not been looking forward to their visit? Her fears grew as she realized the more of her true self she showed, the less he'd likely be interested.

"Hi, come in," she said and quickly shut the door behind him.

Even though the most of the people whose opinions she valued, knew she was interacting with Edward as part of this mission, she still had a nagging suspicion people would talk. They always did.

"Have you been resting and recovering?"

"Recovering, yes. Resting, no."

"At least it's honest."