A Cup Full of Sweets

Shattered Friendship

Hey, just a reminder, when  the feeling of superiority itches in your veins once again, why don't you spare a minute to take a brief look of yourself in the mirror? Maybe when you do you could finally see your flaws? Maybe when you do you could save an innocent life?

You have broken me, killed every fiber of my being, and you have brought me down to the deepest ocean of shame.

I'll never be the same again.

And I hate to say this, but it's all because of you.

Right now, I’m fairly confident and sure enough to end this game. Don’t worry; I won’t bring this hatred in heaven.

Remember when we first met? Yes. We met in a daycare center. I was playing with my barbie and you were there all alone in one corner, crying because this one jerk of a kid named Johnny broke your Mr. Potatohead. And then I talked to you. We became friends. And since then, you were basically the best friend I’ve ever had.

We started to go to school together in fourth grade, and we’ve done a lot of things together. We’ve giggled over cute boys in our classs; tried to be the top on the class when it comes to academics, but you said we could never be because it’ was "totally uncool",; and all those little things any girl could have done. But one thing we never did was to make fun of another. 

But you see, you changed. 

All this time, I’ve been wondering, why's making fun of another’s  life so much fun to you? Did it make you feel better? Did you think wrecking a life could increase your “popularity rate” tons steps higher?

I could answer my own question, and it is a yes.

Ninth grade, remember how you backfired each and every girl in our class, and told them they were all ugly, fat, and stupid? Like damn you became so popular because of that. All these boys - the hot boys we've dreamed of - they were all running after you, trying to get your number. And you, like a true bitch, slept with them one by one? Oh, you didn't think I knew that? Of course I did, I'm your bestfriend. 

I started to doubt your actions those days, and I told you a lot about how you have changed, about how our friends despised you when you started to act like a bitch, and about how I didn't know you anymore. But hey, every word I said seemed like a dust in the air to you.

Senior year came when I was sure it wasn't you anymore. You really changed. I would have been proud if you’ve changed for the better, but you didn't. You became worse. 

You bailed out on me. Every. Single. Time. And I know why, because you were hanging out with all your new friends. Of course, I'm just that ugly smartass from your class. 

And then you made fun of me.

Because your long-time crush asked me out to the dance.

You made fun of me.

Just like that.

Like I wasn't your bestfriend at all.

You told whole world that I’ve done the things I didn’t, which you were the one who did. You told them that I was pregnant but decided to abort my child, which I'm pretty sure it was you who did it. It was that college guy who has gotten you pregnant, wasn't he? And you aborted the child, didn't you? I was too quiet, because I didn't want you to get in trouble. But you twisted all around, and blamed your fault on me. 

Everyone believed you. Everyone hated me.

So I confronted you. And I remembered that my dear bestfriend didn't want to get confronted. 

So as if you haven't had enough, you told everyone I was hooking up with Mr. Dylans, our English teacher, which was the reason I became the top in English class. Tell you what, I just studied hard. I wanted to get into a good college. That was why.

But that rumor reminded me of how you snugged with Gym teacher Mr. Jameson's son Junior Year when he went over school to teach us football. See? It wasn't me. It was you.

But I still kept quiet.

Another day at school, everyone stayed away from me like I was a filthy walking trash. No one decided to seat with me at lunch, even my old friends.

You know what? I had every rights to tell them the truth, to tell them that you were actually the one who got  pregnant, the one who made out with a teacher's son - but I didn’t. Because until that day, I still hoped you were my bestfriend.

But your hellish habits crossed the limit.

I was startled with untrue news you spread on your blog, and it had reached the principal’s office. I was sent to his office and he accused me of crashing his car off a cliff. I didn’t do it, I could not even key his car for fuck's sake!

But I knew one thing; you were the one who did it. I know, I know you told one of your boyfriends to do that favor for you, and then blame me for doing it. Of course, as the drama club star, your charm worked. Even Mr. Principal believed you. Funny.

I was expelled, but I had to let them all pass away with the wind. Dad, on the other hand, was the only family I had. He was the one who put me in school for my own future, and he worked hard for my tuition fee, but all of his hard works were gone in a flash when he decided to leave me for another family, because even him, Andrea, even my own dad left me because of your lies.

And everything just started because your crush asked me out.

Didn't you know that he was the only guy who had interest in me? He was the only one who noticed me, because everyone else was seeing you. He was the first one, Andrea. So I said yes. I didn't know it would cause all of this.

As I am writing this, Andrea, I am readying my pills. Feel free to call me an attention whore, emo, or whatever. I'm doing this because I just can't stand this anymore. 

Dad left me. My friends left me. You left me. My hopes - they've left me.

I can't live alone in this world knowing that the people I loved the most has abandoned me. I can't.

So forgive me Andrea when I say this:

I hate you.

I hate you so much for doing this to me. I hate you so much for being my best friend. I hate you so much for being a self-centered, conceited, lying bitch.

I hate you for everything.

But don't worry. As I promised, I won’t bring this hatred in heaven. I'll look over you everyday. So don’t you worry, my friend.

Goodbye.