Don't Do It

Chapter 3: They're After Me

With each night that passes I find it harder and harder to fall asleep. I mean how could I, with those words practically being yelled at me all the time. Eventually my body wouldn't be able to sleep like I could before. I'd fall asleep only to wake up to this hell that I had caused. I've tried to just block out their voices, oh Lord knows I've tried, but only to find it very difficult, if not impossible. I find it funny how I never once wanted to commit suicide, even hated it in fact. Now I'd rejoice in it's embrace, just to get some peace.

Weeks ago the voices weren't as loud as they are now, and they were even bearable. Those words that I loathe with every atom, every particle that exists in this wretched universe, weren't as bad, it didn't tear me apart like it does now. Quickly it became torture to me. My path to get my long deserved peace is clear as a creak. All I'd need to do is take that first step, but my body refuses take it.
I'd often find myself lying awake knowing what my future might be, with my only way of knowing being time.

Now the worst part isn't how long the curse lasts, it's how the voices get louder and closer with the shadows appearing more and more. They even started appearing in my dreams now. I remember thinking, is there no safe place to go? There are days I would go out to perform errands for mom, and I'd seethose damned shadows with every corner I'd passed. I wonder when will this nightmare end, only for it to contradict what i know for a fact that it will never end.

Not even the atmosphere is safe now. It's  now been replaced by that of danger. My brain is always warning me that if I don't run my fate will certainly be death. How can i run from fate it's like running from light, it'll inevitably catch me. Anywhere I go they are there to, along with the voices and their god damn words that are so persistently said,"you won't be missed, you won't be missed, you won't be missed, " like damn it all. All I want now now is death, I crave it. Maybe one day I'll get my peace, or maybe I'll take it myself. Who knows, only time can tell.