Mox in the Mix

Breaking Barbies

She really didn’t care what anyone said: getting drunk was not a thing to enjoy. Alcohol was expensive and dumbasses ALWAYS managed to blow her buzz when she was getting close to enjoying herself and NOT in a good way.

Assholes.

On the bright side though, if she got drunk enough, she probably wouldn’t care about her 3 month forced celibacy. She’d also probably turn into a twerking stripper who’d hump whoever she had to in order to make sure she actually got off but she didn’t give one, two, red or blue fucks. She slung her crochet box braids over her shoulder and adjusted her multicolored tube top and made sure her ass wasn’t hanging out of her Daisy Duke shorts. No need to give a free show.

“Ayo, chica!” A petite, Latina woman with bright red hair came swaying to her side, moving her body to the music without a pause.Ivelisse was one of her good friends in and out of the ring and they often went out together. Mainly because while drunk or buzzed, they didn’t go overboard unlike others Zuly could mention. She chose not to but she could.

“Hey girl!” They hugged each other and started dancing together. Zuly needed to feel something and if she couldn’t fuck, maybe she’d fight. Yeah, a good old fashioned bar fight would be fun. Ivelisse knew the look on her friend’s face: she wanted to her favorite two fs and the way the night was looking, only one would happen.

“Ivie, this is not our scene. Why are we here? I already know I’m going to have to fight about five of these garbagè hos and who gone stop me? Not yo ass because you’ll be fightin a ho or two your damn self. Why the hell are we here?” Zuly would rather be sleeping in her car than in this “diverse” club. Diverse in middle America meaning they played hip hop music but not a damn Black person or person of color to be found outside the few that came out after the show.

She didn’t have a problem with folks, she just knew her fuse with fuckery was low and Mox had cut it close. That was a ride from hell if there ever was one but she had to suck it up and deal.

Ivie grabbed her friend’s shoulders. “Girl, they have cheap and good drinks. Let’s drink a bit, talk and get the hell outta here.”

Without waiting for a response, she dragged Zuly to the bar and signaled for the cute bartender to make them, “I need two liquid marijuanas, 4 sex on the beaches and 2 Long Islands, please.”, and sat her friend down at the bar. “Spill. You’re extra tense and it’s not because of lack of penis.”

“So, you know I’m workin’ with Brandi and them, right? I’m training the other day before my hair appointment and this heffa decided that I was riding with this dude that just got into the company. I don’t know much about him but he was so weird during the ride here. Like 5 hours of weird stares and awkwardness. It would’ve been cool if half of the awkwardness wasn’t due to sexual tension. I ont even LIKE white guys like that but him? He’s different. He’s like me. I may just wanna see what that mouth do though because he may get attached to the vag.” Zuly drank her liquid mary j and downed two of the sex on the beaches. She began to sip on her Long Island and sighed. She would probably get a good 8 hours after she got back and showered and then, she’d be on the road for another 12 hours with Mox. She was gonna go insane. Maybe I should download some podcasts or something. Work on my crocheting. Pray. Read. Road twerk.

Ivie looked at her friend, her curiosity piqued. Brandi guarded her baby cousin like a pit bull so for her to have her ride with a guy and not Ivie or even Brandi and her husband was interesting.

“You really think Brandi wanted you to ride with a guy?”

“Nope. I think Cody had something to do with it. I think he wants road dome again and I don’t want to see his peen again. Ever. In life.” Zuly shuddered at the time she woke up and saw her cousin slobbing on Cody’s knob. It was weird and she dealt with it.

“Who’s the guy?”

“Dude named Mox. White dude, looks 30-ish with brown hair-”

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT! CODY HAS TO BE OUTTA HIS RABID TAIL MIND!” Ivie’s loud voice carried across the bar. “Mox? Jon Moxley?! Cody either trying to get you laid, pregnant or have a bad ass intergender match.” Zuly stopped sipping on her drink. She wanted to know all the dirt on her riding partner and a drunk Ivie gave all the info.

“Spill.”

“Aight, so he’s a huge whore. I’ve never heard complaints but dude smashed Reby Sky and had her ass looking for him in the daytime with a fleshlight.”

“It’s flashlight girl.” “Nah, ho, she literally was looking for him with a fleshlight.” They burst out laughing for 5 minutes. When Ivie caught her breath, she continued.

“But, he’s a known participant in smashing ring rats. He was like Joey Janella for a bit but, he got cleaned up and went to the big times: WWE. He was in the Shield.”

Zuly finally remembered where she knew him from and she was shocked. She had had the HUGEST crush on early Dean Ambrose. His passionate promos and barely aware of how his body language said he was going to be.......he was so attractive. She really wanted that Lunatic Fringe way back but she’d heard he’d gotten married or something so she had decided to like someone else. She had boundaries.

“I thought he was married? Why would he come back to the indies if he has a whole wife in the E?”

“Girl! Turns out ole girl was lying. She literally was smashing his friend who was married, Kevin Dunn AND Corey Graves. He was dating her, found out and dipped.” Ivie shook her head. The wrestling world was huge but small. Having so many partners all in your workspace wasn’t smart. It was very dangerous. Very dangerous. “He came to the indies because he was over it. You saw him in the past year, year and a half? He was just so...over it.”

Zuly shook her head. After she lost her crush on Mox or Ambrose or whoever, she stopped watching it. There was no point. It was boring as hell so she could understand why he left. Too much drama. But if he was sleeping with the ho of the E, she wasn’t going to let him get it. She did NOT want the E cooties.

The girls gathered themselves and moved towards the door. Unfortunately for them, there was 6 girls blocking the door. They all looked like tan, blow up doll clones with blonde hair, green eyes and the same knockoff Hooters uniform. The fake breasts and asses disgusted Zuly. If you’re going under the knife, make it look real! She thought to herself. She looked at Ivie, who nodded. The girls didn’t even open their mouths before Zuly and Ivie had started beating them. One managed to hit Ivie before getting hit with a spinning backfist.

“Thanks.” and with that, the two best friends walked to their hotel about 3 blocks away leaving 6 trifling Barbies and a stunned bar behind at 2 am.
What were best friends for if not to break Barbies?