cloudy thoughts || enoch o'connor

[ chap i. ]

I woke up, gasping for air.

I was looking up, at a group of birds I didn't quite recognize fly in a large oval shape in the air.

I felt, so, tired.

My muscles ached, my eyes watered, my lungs were choked and strangled.

It hurt. So. Bad.

I looked to my side, which was a movement I instantly regretted, as pain shot through my neck and my spine.

I looked out, onto the endless waves of ocean, which lightly slapped my right side, making my cuts and bruises surge in pain.

I had flashbacks, terrible ones, at that, of water. Of hurt. Of Katie.

And I broke.

My eyes, already filled with tears, started to produce waterfalls that streamed down the sides of my face, staining the perfect sand.

I thought of Katie. I thought of my old loop. I thought of all of the tiny children in it. I must've cried for hours, because soon the sun was setting, and still I was too tired to move from my spot on my beach.

I felt a tug, coming from the other direction, and I sighed shakily. I knew what it was, the moment it started nipping at me. One of the birds, nipping it's beak at me, at the white feathers of my dirtied wings.

Yup, I said it, you heard it. My wings.

That was my peculiarity. I was born with wings, and, though it sounds odd, I came out glowing.

You may be wondering, however, if I was an ymbryne. And, no, that theory has been debunked by countless other ymbrynes. I, simply, had wings.

Yes, I could use them. No, I could not hide them, not fully.

That's what got me thrown out of my own town, my own family.

-----

I ran through the streets, laughing along with my group of friends. I was the oldest of the group, but ever the shortest. My seven year old body ran ahead by a bit, sprinting as fast as I could go to reach any of my friends.

When I tripped.

I skidded across the gravel road, rock to be forced to stay in my skin, painfully wailing. I stopped, and held my side, crying on the floor.

My friends ran over to me, but stopped suddenly, staring at me like I was a monster. To them, I was a monster.

My wings, broken free of my shirt, had come tearing out, and sprawled across the pavement. The perfectly white feathers had been lightly stained brown, and now were ruffled and disheveled.

That was my first experience of my knowing that having wings, was not beloved or even liked by any.

-----

"Shoo!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, not very loud, mind you, trying to scare off the bird. At the elongated stay of the one bird, others started to flock around me, trying to get at my wings, at my shredded clothing.

"Get away! Go! Shoo!" I pleaded desperately, unable to scare them off. I tried flapping my wings, to get them away, but the pain from doing that one action was extreme enough for another hot tear fell from my face to the stained, dotted sand.

That is when I noticed the other, more delicate bird fly over to me. I knew this bird, however, as a peregrine falcon. It looked at me curiously. It seemed to take an actual interest in my wings, my face, not just peck at me. It hopped back over to my face, and, I swear, I saw it's beak move ever so slightly into a smile.

Just as I closed my eyes, trying to make the obvious hallucination go away, I heard a flap of wings, then a small screech. I heard, then, or a rustling of pressed, ironed clothing against skin. I opened my eyes, in where wonder of the ruckus, and when I did, what I found was not a bird. It was a woman.

"Miss Peregrine, delighted to meet you." The woman said, a smile painted on her face. A smile of pure affection, mind you. I looked at her, my eyes half out of focus, before uttering, "This is one freaky dream." Then, I simply, closed my eyes.

-----

I woke up, painfully opening my eyes, staring at the blinding ceiling above me. It was only blinding in the fact that it wasn't dark. It wasn't black, so it hurt.

I felt different, both physically and mentally. Like I had just experienced hell, and come back as an angel. Which, I thought with a small, painful frown, was exactly what happened. I had been robbed of my home, my loop, my family. But i had emerged from hell, or in my case, the endless sea, as an angel. Beaten and torn, yet beautiful and vibrant.

That's when I started to cry again. This time, the tears flowed more heavily, onto the Victorian style bed.

I cried, again, of Katie. Of the others. Of the loop. I let out all my feelings, all my emotions, through the tears.

And they just got soaked into the bed, gone, like that.

Then, the same face that I saw before, Miss Peregrine, she said her name was, walked into the room. She, along with what appeared to be a floating suit and hat, which freaked me out. The one in the suit carried a tray with bandages, peroxide, and other assorted medical supplies with him, while the woman simply stood by the wooden door, arms clasped behind her back.

The invisible figure walked to one side of the bed I was laying in, while the ymbryne stepped elegantly to the other side, opposing the figure. I stared at the perfectly transparent being in front of me, or rather, overlooking me. It must have sensed that I was on edge about someone I couldn't see cleaning and wrapping my wounds.

The figure introduced itself, hoping that it would calm me down slightly. In a soothing, fragile voice, the figure introduced himself. "Hi! My name is Millard." I smiled weakly at the what I assumed to be a boy, looking gently at where I thought his eyes were.

"Adelydd" I muttered, my throat dehydrated to the point that it hurt just to say that one word.

The ymbryne, Miss Peregrine, chuckled lightly, softly, "Millard will be the one who will bandage your wounds. It may be of slight discomfort at first, but he will take good care of you. Isn't that right, Millard?"

As Millard looks up at Miss Peregrine, I see his hat bob down and back up once, with a happy and gentle "mhmm!" of assurance.

Miss Peregrine stepped away from my bed, and turned on her heel towards the door. Her hands still clasped behind her back, the ymbryne gracefully walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her with a light 'thud!'