The Earthly Queen: The Woman of Worlds Apart

Chapter 15: (Eris)

The week has gone by fairly quick, surprisingly. We're still on edge for much of it and I am going through extreme mood swings.

Whenever I'm around Caine he seems to make everything better. He's just so simple and so nice. I'm actually really grateful I was able to spend time with him and get to know him. Even Mack-He, despite our rocky start, has really grown on me. When I'm with them I feel relatively not-awful.

However, as soon as I'm alone and not being distracted by their weirdness I find myself slipping into a sort of depressive funk. While there I am constantly haunted with the knowledge that I have lead to the deaths of several thousand people - people with families and friends and lives who had nothing do do with this fight and were destroyed anyway. If the Glimmers wanted death and destruction they certainly got it.

As well as that guilt I am also saddened by the fact that when this week is up I'll be going to space - something I'm really not ready for in the slightest.

I may never see my family ever again. They don't know what's happening to me and maybe they never will. Every second I'm away I'm hurting them. I can only imagine mom sitting on my bed clutching one of my handmade quilts sobbing her eyes and heart out.

If Caine has issues adjusting to life on a supposid 'third world harvesting planet' then what chance do I have of adjusting to his world of spaceships and genetic hybrids and living computer programs?

I make every excuse possible short of stalking just to be in the same room with Caine just to keep my mind off the worst of my situation. I accomplish this mostly by spending a lot of time outside target practicing. I've actually gotten pretty good and on this, the fourth day in, I'm consistently hitting exact bullseyes without any help from Caine.

Since then we've started moving on to moving targets. Mack-He will generate a simulation masked bad guy for me to shoot at. A moving target is considerably harder than a stationary hunk of wood or metal - shocker. Still, I'm getting better.

Once, I hit the simulation right in the chest and he disintegrated, me having hit him in the digital heart. Caine was so happy. "That was amazing! Right in the heart? I'm damn impressed!"

"I was aiming between the eyes," I admitted sheepishly.

While the days have been short the nights, for me, have been long and unpleasant. I haven't slept well ever since this shit started. I've been having god awful nightmares, one right after the other, all night and every night. Some are more coherent than others but all have a common theme. I am being hunted and I am never able to escape. Nothing but a slew of masked men and skyjackers and evil servers and battle cruisers and blinding red lights. Many a time I have woken up with a start and burrowed under the covers of the bed I'm borrowing afraid to close my eyes once more.

Tonight is easily one of the worst I've had so far. The dream is the most violent and bloody.

In the dream an enemy, halfway between a nurse and a Glimmer, comes my way with its Skyjacker masters looming in the background. It carries the milligasher and holds it out in front of it and cackles like a banshee. I am backed up against an invisible wall and unable to move.

The whole thing ends with me being killed, the milligasher blades shredding my chest.

I wake with a start, sitting bolt upright, and shrieking at the top of my lungs. My shrill voice echoes throughout the entire house.

The sound of feet is heard and the door flies open. The light flashes on, momentarily blinding me. Someone is next to me, gripping my shoulders. "Eris, Eris, are you ok?"

I just stare at Caine blankly a moment. The blind panic fades and I sigh deeply, falling back against the pillows.

"Just a bad dream," I say in relief. "Bad one."