The life of an idol (m.y.g)✅

⭐Chapter 6⭐

Y/N POV

As we drive home in our van one hour later, I'm back to normal again. I'm completly drained from the day, all my energy reserve empty. I yawn leaning onto Jungkook beside me to get some sleep until we're home.
I cuddle against him, enjoying the warmth of his body.
When I wake up I'm not in the van anymore. I find myself in my own bed, tucked under the sheets, only my head showing. I wiggle myself out of the warm blanket to walk over to the table to get my phone.
I unlock the screen.
2.36am
the screen shows me.
So I've already been sleeping for a while, but how did I get to bed? I don't remeber walking to my room...
Did maybe Jungkook carry me to bed? Probably, since he's the muscle pig I think it'd be easier for him to carry me than the others.
I shrug, my stomach growling.
I didn't have diner, I remember.
So I get myself some leftover fruitsalad and head back to the bedroom again. It's just now that I notice the other bed beeing completly empty.
"Is he still working?" I question myself as I munch on a piece of apple.
As I head to his studio I can tell that he deffinetly isn't working, there's no light inside. Guess he can't even stand sleeping in the same room with me anymore.
I sigh, walking back to my bed and flopping down on it instantly. I turn and toss but I can't fall asleep again. I try to destract my mind but I can't avoid the question popping up in my mind. Does he really hate me this much? Of course he would. I'm just annying, and cling to his side constantly. It's my own fault that he can't stand me.
Cold tears silently roll down my cheeks before they disappear into my pillow. And so I spent the whole night. Crying into my cushion until it's completly wet from all my tears.
As the sun rises I stay in bed, grabbing my phone from the nightstand.
I open the video of our performance from last night. I can't help admiring my perfect, handsome boys. I click on the comment section reading some of them:
Wow!  That was so awsome, I loved it❤, I wish I could have been there😥, They are incredible! I love them so much💞, I purple you so much💜

There are many nice comments but then there are also these ones:

Are y'all stupid? They can't even sing or dance! Not to mention that they're all ugly. They don't deserve all the fame for their sh*tty performance. Did nobody notice how Y/N can't even do a proper bodyroll? They're honestly more fake than anything else I have ever seen.
Go die, you're so pathetic!
They're all singing to playback because there real voices are trash!

Did I really mess up so bad on that one bodyroll? I've tried so much to get it right, but I guess I'm still not good at it. I should practice more, maybe I 'll ask Jimin for some advise. And I need to lose more weight, I look so fat. I didn't realise that I gained so much weight.
I take a quick shower before grabbing my sport bag to head to the dance studio.
It's 6.24pm when I arrive back home. I've been practicing my dancing all day long. Recalling all the technics that I've learned for hard moves. But it still isn't prefect. I'll have to try again tomorrow. As I walk in the boys sit on the couch in the living room, watching some film.
The don't even notice me as I head down the hall to my bedroom.
I sent a text to my parents before searching for losing weight tips.
I make a to do list so I won't forget my goals and pin it onto the wall so it's basically impossible that I won't see it. As I lay down, opening my book, ready to read when Yoongi enters our room, our eyes locking.
We stare at each other for a short moment before we bove avoid our gazes.