Luminary h.s

Chapter 18

I felt my heart in my throat, nearly choking me as I waited for the terrible news I would be delivered. My mother finally let go of me, one last sob escaped before she took my hand and we sat down at the bed. 

I observed everyone in the room, Harry, who looked like he would explode any second, my father, who I knew cried earlier because of the redness on his face, My mother, who sat beside me silently crying, and finally, Doctor Peter. 

“What’s going on?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. 

“Ana, as you may know. We had to increase your dose of chemo because your cancer was increasing. And unfortunately, It’s not working. We tried our absolute best, but the cancer cells….”

And I knew what he would say next, I knew it all. my heart ached and my eyes watered. I looked at Harry who’s eyes were getting wider as was his mouth. And I hope that in another universe, I can be there for him, healthy and pretty and all. 

“How much longer?” I asked, looking at the doctor and trying not to cry. he looked at the floor and whispered.

“Six months.” 

And then I blanked, going to a dark place that i’ve never been to before.  And I think see Doctor Peter leave, and I think I see my mother continue crying, and I think my father did, too, and I think I see Harry looking at me, tearing up. And I think I let go of my mother’s warm hand, and I think I lay down on the bed, And I think I close my eyes, because the darkness that overcame me can’t be caused by the horrible news only, or maybe it can. I just don’t know anymore.

“Ana, are you okay?. Oh, my baby.” My mother gushed, and in an unexpected move, I turned away from her. I was in a mood that didn’t allow me to speak to anyone, and to be honest, I didn’t even want to speak to her. 

I heard her sob even louder, I also heard rushed footsteps. I opened one eye and Harry was the only one I saw. Wow, my parents left. How sweet.

“Ana” Harry mumbled.

“I really don’t want to speak to anyone right now.” 

And at that moment, my tears fell freely down my face. I sat up and tried reaching for a tissue when I noticed that it was being offered by Harry, I sniffed and took a tissue, wiping my eyes with it. 

“This sucks.” I sobbed more. 

“I know, baby. I know.” 

“Come here” He sat on the bed and patted his lap. I moved to his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck sobbing, hard. 

“Let it out baby.” He rubbed my back soothingly as I cried harder. He got a soft, gentle hold of my face, his eyes looking straight into mine. 

“I need you to listen to me, Okay?” 

“Okay” I whispered, unable to find my voice from all the crying. Harry’s thumb found my cheek, ever so gently wiping my tears. 

“You’re an angel. You’ve been here for long enough. You will be in a better place, so much better, where you deserve to be. The more time you’ll spend here, the sicker you’ll get, and the more you’ll hate life. So sometimes, it’s better to leave early. Don’t be scared. I’m here for you, I’ll always be. You’ll go and all the pain will fade, all the tears, and the sadness and everything unpleasant. Ana, believe me, dying isn't always a bad thing. I know you’re afraid, and I know i’m terrible at calming people down. But baby please, don’t let this affect you. You’re like sunshine, wherever you are. People are smiling, I don’t know if you notice but I do. And I don’t want you to be upset. Never.” He kissed my forehead and hugged me close to his chest. My tears stopped, a long time ago. I inhaled his scent and nuzzled his neck. 

“Thank you, Harry.” 

“Don’t mention it, baby.” And in my darkest time, I smiled. A small, but sincere smile. But none the less, a smile.

The door opened, and my parents walked in. Silence overpowered the pale room. My parents sat down and glanced at each other briefly before staring at me. I breathed out, ready to apologize. Because, life is too short not to apologize. At least that’s what i think.

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(a

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