Diary of the Forgotten Kid: Raw Thoughts!

Diary of the Forgotten Kid: Raw Thoughts! Part 2

My hands are shaking viciously. It's like I forgot who I am now. Another man lost to mental health and I haven't seen anyone bother to even post him around. I'm thinking what if that same person was me? He had 100's of thousands of followers and still barely anyone has posted anything about him. What if it was me with just 30 followers who barely know me and just know my story? But let's be honest here I've been more open with you lot than anyone I've ever known so I guess you strangers are the closest thing I have right now. I don't know if it's the pills or the THC talking or if it's straight up just me but normally everyone says depressed people just hate everyone. That's wrong! I don't hate everyone I love everyone I'm just disappointed that no one has ever bothered to help me when I'm down and out, that's all. I'm a disappointment to everyone too that's why I tend to not get close to anyone. I mean my friends have all left apart from like a couple but even then we never talk daily and you kinda think if you don't pop up to them first or if they don't want something that requires then you'll never talk again. My ex cheated on me and left me buried in the dirt just because I was a burden to her when I told her from the start she deserves better. I got attached and got my heart ripped out of my chest just because I was too "clingy" when all I ever wanted to do was protect her from the evil people we have in this world which even though she understands that now she knows it'll never be the same between us again. I ain't got nothing against her though, that's life. Maybe I'm not fit for this world but I'll tell you one fucking thing I don't really care if I am or not I will stay for as long as I wish to without giving a damn what you think! Okay now I know it's something else talking because my depression ass is gonna end up having a breakdown later over the same thing but obviously I want to be a "real man" today by doing drugs till I don't feel shitty anymore and then be emotionless... some man ain't it. We all have demons and scars that we can't show to the world but I say just show it. So what if we're different. If we're the weird kids who get picked on. Because let's be honest the normal this generation has makes being weird not sound so much of a crazy idea. I personally hate social media for the power it has in the wrong hands although it's beautiful when it's in the right hands. For example they make so many quotes about how relationships should be so people are insecure about their relationship, tells guys what kinda girls they should get and what kinda guys girls should get. Let's be honest we have all once took in what those memes or quotes have said but forget it let's be ourselves for once. Let's be the forgotten kids! Hey and if I take my own life from an overdose off antidepressants don't blame yourselves... blame the people who didn't help in the first place. The counsellors who get paid for it, the people who took my depression as a joke and the people who never supported me when I was down and out. This isn't a suicide note it's just how deep my feelings are and a plea for help before I do something stupid. I'm sorry for everyone who does love me but maybe couldn't show it. It's not me being selfish or cowardly I just don't even know who I am anymore. I was this innocent kid who never even did or said anything back to anyone and I used to get bullied. I was never violent or anything although recently I've been punching walls and doors and getting into fights just because someone mentioned something bad about my ex. WHO THE FUCK AM I? I'm begging you never go the same path I'm going through and one day I pray that I'll make it through and be able to have the "fairytale" ending I guess. But I'm highly doubting it by each day I live. I know I should be grateful to take my first breath in the morning when I wake up but I'd be equally grateful if it was my last at this point. If we don't get the fairytale ending I'm glad to have told my story. I love you all. These are just the raw thoughts of the forgotten kid...