Hay, I am Dawn Spring and I live in a small town called Wombat. It is a little country town about five hundred kilometres away from Sydney. About one and half hours away from Wagga Wagga but we from inner N.S.W just call it Wagga.
I have lived my whole life in Wombat with just my mama because my father packed up all of his stuff and just left when I was just a babe. We never heard from him again and I never got anything from him not even child support. I always wondered if he left because of me - because I was a mistake - but when ever I asked mama she just says ‘If I could go back and start over again I would not change anything.’
Anyway what I thought to be the biggest tragedy ever at the time was that Kris moved to Sydney.
We lost in touch and soon enough I had to make new friends, by that I mean not telling myself that I will get no where. So I made a couple of friends and I got a boyfriend, of which his best mate just happens to be my mate Tim. Anyway it was all going good until Kris came back.
I am the girl who always wanted to be some one else but myself, always wanted to tell the truth but it never came out right. When I got to high school this all started to go wrong, because what I was doing people were doing straight back to me. Everyone but Tim and Jessie.
Anyway, once she enrolled into ‘Wild Water High’ she started to hang out with my group acting like nothing had happened but things had happened. She used to be so sweet and innocent but now she has turned to mean and nasty. Before she left we were two happy friends and even though we and our ups and downs we still got through the hard times.
When she found out who my boyfriend was she through a fit and said some very bad words. My boyfriend was the boy she used to dream about every night before she left that they would get together and go out. But it didn’t happen before she left and now she is angry that I got a hold on him and she didn’t, oh yeah, his name is Taylor.
walking on a bridge with tears welling in my eyes. i cant believe i let Taylor do this to me again. i jump up onto the edge and stare out at the deep, dark and paralyzingly cold water. i wounder if he would actually care or be relieved that i am gone. i cant even pull up my shirt because it hurts too much, i cant show you all the scars i have on my body just by being punched by him.
all i ever wanted was to be apart of his heart, i used to look at him like no one else in this world could compare to him. what a fool i was to think that he could treat me right and keep me safe. we used to have more and i used to love you more than i ever thought i could, but that was before you started hitting me because you were angry.
i was never really good enough for you, either if i was you friend or your partner, you always got angry and retailiated it back on me. it was not my fault that i was never good enough for you, it just turned out that way and i am sorry that i wasnt and still am not good for you.
i get down and start walking back to your house, hoping that you are not there. just so i could go in pack up all my stuff and leave. preying that you arnt having an early day, so i dont get hit for not being there when you got home.
now i have the courage to leave you and all that you are behind me because i know that i wdied you would never really care, you'd just throw a party and say good ridance to me. demon of my nightmare, its not fair. i cry not for you but over you, you hurt me you hate me, your face it burns me.
now i can break free of your hold. i was strong but you were always stronger. you were ment to be my friend and lover but you hit me. in the end i realised that you had lied. i tired to hide millions of times yet you found me everytime. you said youd preotect me yet you rejected me.
you could've helped me but when i closed my eyes all i saw was my fear and pain of seeing and being with you. will they notice, will the protest, say that your punishment was never enough. please!!! stop my suffering. Dont they realise that you can hide. you can get away and dont face any charges yet you hit me over and over again, alw2ays in my dreams.
in reality there is no escape, i try to fake it but sometimes it's too hard. my arm does not hurt anymore when i slice my skin with this razor blade. just a thin red line, though my fine, im free when i bleed. will they hide me away like a game, they wont say my name its a rule or em i just being a fool.
if i died i would be fine and if i tried i could fly. i would not have to hide i would be okay. i wont cry because that could mean i am nothing but trash and a waste of time, then when i leave maybe i could escape the fate of your hits and your destiny.
