Then

Chapter 2

I'm ready to go, and Ben offers to take Bella to school. We're the same age, but he doesn't start uni until tomorrow, so I thank him and start walking.
The hues of the trees remind me strongly of the colour of Bella and my Mom's hair. It scares me, sometimes, how similar they are. But mostly, it just hurts - Bella reminds me too strongly of what we've lost.
How long has it been now? 6 years? I don't know exactly. The day your mother dies isn't one you mark in your calendar.
I try to think of something else.
The sky is the same blue as my boyfriend, Thomas', eyes. I try to think about that. But that's it. The sky is blue. That's all there is to say. Sometimes I feel that way with Thomas, too. I know everything about him, from his laugh to his sad little pout. And to be perfectly honest, there's not that much to know. He's sweet, but he's just - well, him. Not a cloud in the sky, not a mystery in Thomas.
Most girls would love to be with a guy like Thomas. But sometimes I wish there was more to him.
The walk is too long; I don't like being alone with my thoughts. Luckily, I get to Alabama State University quickly.
You can tell who else is starting today. These people are surrounded by hugging and crying mothers, taking pictures and commenting on how grown up they are. One girl's mum, in particular, is making a huge fuss.
"Now remember, honey." She has a distinct New York accent, almost hidden by her trembling lip. "If anyone tries to sell you drugs, you come straight home."
"Mom!" Her daughter responds reproachfully.
I carry on walking. It's weird how much you can long for a mother to give you a lecture on drug use.
I must look like it's not my first day, because the girl waves goodbye to her mom, shouts "Hey!" at me and starts asking where to go for Business Studies.
"Oh, it's actually my first day too." I reply.
"Crap." She tucks a lock of her cherry-coloured hair behind her ear. "Sorry, I'll ask someone else."
"That's fine, I'm doing Business Studies, too." I say.
"Cool! I'm Maisie!" She holds out a hand, and I shake it. It feels oddly formal.
"Dyllon."
Maisie wrinkles her face. "Isn't that a boy's name?"
I sigh. I get that a lot. My mom always told me it made me unique and special compared to other girls. And I never have been like other girls. Maybe it's just as well that my name matches.
"Yeah." I admit. "They thought I was going to be a boy. Turns out what they thought was me was my stupid brother Ben."
"You're a twin?" Maisie says. "That's so cool!"
I smile. It is nice to have someone there, no matter what. I'll always be able to understand Ben, and he'll always be able to understand me.
Maisie and I ask a passing student where to go, and we head to our first lecture.