The Missing Boy

Chapter 16 - Stupidly Tall Building

Miles and Axel's next encounter is very awkward.

Axel can't seem to keep his eyes off of Miles and Miles can't seem to even look at Axel. It's a very weird dynamic the two have going on.

Miles is still hurt about Axel's actions. As much as he tries to put it behind him, he can't get the image of Axel with a girl out of his head. With Axel it's quite the opposite. He's already forgotten about Sydney.

"Are you still mad at me?" Axel whispers to Miles who continues writing down the Chemistry notes on the board.

"Me, mad? I'm not mad. Why would I be mad?" Miles says as he scribbles down his notes with a little too much force on his blue pen. Axel doesn't actually know why Miles is mad at him, or not mad as he tried to put across, but he shrugs it off.

"Whatever you say man."

The rest of their Chemistry lesson goes by silently and agonisingly slow but eventually, after a couple more lessons without each other, they go off for lunch.

"How about we do something else on the bucket list?" Axel asks as they sit in their classroom. He just wants to get Miles to talk to him. He hates silent Miles. "Look, how about number 29." Axel says as he flips through the notebook Miles wrote their bucket list in.

"We're doing that in the summer."

"Oh. Ok then how about 11."

"We don't have the money to do that one." Miles takes the notebook from Axel, scanning the bucket list himself. "Look, number 7, go to a party. We can do that one. Natalie is hosting a party on Friday."

"A party? Fuck no. I don't even know why we wrote that one down. I'm not going to a high school party, not when I can't get drunk. We're loners anyway. Loners don't get invited to parties."

"No one gets invited to parties. It's a free for all. You just walk in, show up and turn up."

"Did you just say 'turn up'?" Miles rolls his eyes.

"Come on. It's just a party. Our first party. I'm sure it'll be fun."

•••••••••••

"This look fun to you?"

The two boys are standing in front of the large house. From what it seems, the party started long before they showed up. The music already too loud for Axel's sensitive ears. The smell of alcohol pungent in the cool night air.

One guy is vomiting in a bush, another guy is making out with a garden gnome and three tipsy girls are singing The Climb by Miley Cyrus terribly while standing in someone's pick up truck. And this is all happening on the front lawn. Imagine what it's like inside. They both think.

Miles and Axel haven't even stepped foot into the party yet and they are already incredibly put off.

"Yeah...maybe this is a bad idea." Miles says.

"You think?"

"Stupidly tall building?" Miles suggests.

"Stupidly tall building." Axel confirms.

The two make their way to the abandoned, rundown building. The journey there from Natalie's house a lot longer than hoped. They go up to the top floor again, this time with cans of beer in their hands and childish smiles on their faces. They decide to sit by the wall this time, not trusting themselves to sit on the edge while intoxicated.

"Now this is what I call a party!" Miles exclaims, giggling madly as he takes another sip of the cheap beer. He has become immune to its disgusting taste and now enjoys the warm buzz that envelopes him.

Axel, sober as always, watches the drunk and giddy boy, amused (and slightly jealous) as he takes another drag of his cigarette. When Miles looks at him there's this bright light dancing in his brown eyes. The same bright light that died in Axel's grey eyes the day of the car crash. Axel carefully takes Miles' glasses off so he can look at his eyes unfiltered.

How could I have not realised sooner. Axel thinks. You Miles are gorgeous.

Looking at Miles is like looking at the sun. It hurts. Because the light that radiates off of Miles was lost in Axel long ago.

But it's ok. Axel thinks. Because you're the sun Miles. And you can shine for the both of us.

Miles is grateful that he can see relatively well up close without his glasses because now when he looks as Axel, the whole world literally fades away behind him.

Not that it didn't before. Now it's more literal.

I'm really drunk and probably sitting too close to him.

Axel is a canvas. A painting. Of the richest blues and the darkest blacks. Of the most delicate strokes and the harshest brushes. Of the night and the moon and all the stars the sky could carry.

He has the galaxy in his eyes. And Miles is in the centre of it.

You're the fucking sun. And I'm going blind.

I'm blind.
I don't have my glasses.
I think he might be holding them.
If he keeps staring at me like that I'm going to end up doing something I'll probably regret.

Miles bites his lip as he stares at the boy in front of him. Moving just a little bit closer. Shortening the infinite miles between them.

Axel places the cigarette between his lips just so his mouth has something else to do. To distract himself from the boy staring at him so intensely.

Miles smirks, taking the cigarette out of Axel's lips and putting it between his own.

"You think you've got the hang of it now?" Axel asks. Miles nods his head, taking a drag and blowing out the grey smoke. The same colour as Axel's eyes. He hands it back to Axel who's impressed that Miles didn't end up in a violent coughing fit like last time.

"I'm happy." Miles says with a large grin on his face. The one that's too big for the world. The one Axel both loves and hates. This is definitely the first time Miles has ever gotten drunk.

"You are?" Axel asks.

"Yep. I am."

Miles rests his head on Axel's shoulder and it's the first time since dying that Axel has felt something other than the cold. He has grown numb to that cold feeling but now craves the heat that naturally radiates off of Miles' skin.

He is so alive. Axel thinks. And then he says it out loud.

"You are so alive Miles Kingsley. And I'm just...well I'm just dead." Axel's tone towards the end is sombre. Sombre and sober. The two words so ironically similar.

"No you're not, silly. You're here. You're breathing. You're living aren't you? So therefore you're alive." Miles says, his speech slurred. Axel doesn't have it in him to argue. He just wants to be warm. So he pulls Miles into him so instead of Miles just resting his head on Axel's shoulder, they're both hugging. Arms wrapped around each other, their outstretched legs a tangle on the ground. It's late, the two boys are sitting in a rundown building and they're hugging. And everything just feels so right.