Ehsaas - The Feeling...

Frozen

All finished! The last ray of hope suddenly darkened. Her faith is churned. She is devastated…..to such an extent that she could not even move…she has no power left to weep… her eyes dry…. She couldn’t believe her sense organs..

But… she has to…… she moves her eyes to Rajveer… her Rajveer Sir who is standing a few feet away from her….with his back facing her.. his stooped figure made it clear that his condition is no better.. carrying a truth locked in the most secret chamber of his heart.. and finally disclosing it to Naina….to the women he is insanely in love with….. was that easy for him?? No…. never…

Fate….. once again proved that humans are just puppets in the show called life…. How much you try…. How may a times you try…… its fate who writes destiny..

Naina stands….. and carries her lifeless body to the jeep…holding her brothers last words safely in her palms… her mind processing the data just collected.. her heart left with no hope… hope to love or hope to live..

Sensing nainas absence Rajveer turns around to find naina gone. He was about to just scream out her name when he saw Naina sitting on the jeep… just like a statue….  Without wasting any second more Rajveer runs to the jeep and gets in just to find a shattered… Naina…. Who was a happy going girl just a couple of minutes back has gone back to her previous life.. and this time he is the reason..

Naina…… mujhe pata hai mai maafi ki layak nahi hoon… main maafi mangunga bhi nahi… he weeps.. bus ek baat batana chahta hoon Naina….. us waqt mere paas aur koi raasta nahi tha… woh log Naveen ko dhundke maar dete… Naveen ki himmat tut chuki thi… mai apni dost ko haara hua… thaka hua nahi dekh paaya…. Aur isliye……isliye….. maine aapne hi in haatho se….. he raises his hands in front of him…remembering those fateful minutes…..looking at his hands which is red with Naveens blood…apne hi in haatho se maine maar dia use… maar dia apne akhri sahare ko….and he breaks down….covering his face with his hands….trying to feel the last breath of Naveen…. The Last breath that naveen breathed on his hands…..

Naina turns to him…. Her eyes emotionless… the pair eyes which was dreaming of a life with Rajveer is now looking at Rajveer with shattered faith.. The pair of eyes that carried happiness minutes back now carries grief and pain… The eyes those were once bright as fire as is now dull like a stormy sky…

But why is naina feeling so?? Is it the grief of her brother? Or it is the grief of betrayal?

She already had cried pools when her brother left her. Left her alone to fight this world.. left her alone to meet Rajveer some day and compose her life once again… today….when she was on the verge of meeting happiness finally…….her happiness got stolen…. Stolen by the person to whom she seeked happiness from!

Somethings cannot be changed… somethings are destined to happen..

Feeling  Nainas blank gaze on him Rajveer turns to her.. Naina kuch to bolo…. Naina please… mujhe maaro… peeto…. Bus aise khamosh na raho… he sobs.. Naina mujhe pata hai mai tumhara guehgaar hoon…. Mujhe pata hai yeh sach mujhe tumhe bohat pehle hi bata dena chahye tha… lekin mai kamzoor tha… wohi sach ek aur baar bolne ki himmat nahi thi mujhme Naina.. he begs in front of her. He couldn’t meet nainas eyes.. his guilt didn’t let him do that.

Lekin Naina..mai waada karta hoon tumse… mai Naveen ki guneh gaaron ko pakdunga… mai yeh saabit karke rahunga Naina ke Naveen desh drohi nahi tha… I promise naina… he cries in front of her… in front of her lifeless gaze…

Aur jis din mai yeh kar paunga… ussi din mai yeh revolver tumhare haath mei deke kahunga…..he looks towards the revolver that he is holding in his palm… Naina…maar do mujhe…. Azad kar do mujhe is zindagi ki kaid se… mukt kardo mujhe Naveen ko na bacha pane ki bojh se… kyuki…. Kyuki…. He looks at Naina… usdin meri is zindagi ki koi wajah nahi rahegi naina…… bematlab ka soona zindagi se achha mai maut ke baaho me kaid ho jaaun… his eyes reflecting his emptyness….

Sir….. Academy wapis chalein??......... Comes nainas blunt words….. words that carry no emotion…. She turns her face to the wind screen making it clear that she will not speak a word…

Rajveer turns the keys and the engine roars back to life….and they drove back towards the academy….

The journey…. Complete different from the one when they were approaching from KMA to Point Rakshak… and now when they are heading back towards KMA.. life has taken a complete U turn… and at the end naina finds herself all alone… alone once again…. And this time broken all the more. As the person whom she believed the most, gave her the prime reason to not believe… and that has been gifted to her in such a way that she will not be able to believe on anyone else this lifetime.. life will never be same again…

Is this the life she dreamt of ?? no…. she dreamt of a life with her Rajveer Sir holding her hands…being her support…being her lifeline….she dreamt of a life with her Rajveer Sir..loving her Rajveer Sir…Caring for him.. but life is not always what we plan..

You only see what your eyes want to see

How can life be what you want it to be?

You are frozen….

When your heart’s not open..

Mai is zindagi mein aur kisike upar viswas nahi kar paungi…. Kabhi nahi… tears escape her eyes… dhoka mila hai mujhe…. Rajveer Sir ko aisa nahi karna chahe tha… dhoka dia hai unhone mujhe.. aur mai…. Is dhokebaaz admi se pyaar kar baithi…… her eyes glare… glares of fire…. Of betrayal…. Betrayal which she is feelng… betrayal in love..

Surprisingly…. Her brothers death is not the thing she is worried about… all she is worried about is the betrayal…. From Rajveer.. Rajveer Sir ne aisa kyu kia??  Kyu dhoka dia mujhe?? Mai pyaar karti hoon unse…… she cries silently…….. Nahi… mai pyaar karti thi unse…. Mai apni bhai ki khooni se kaise pyar kar sakti hoon?? She asks herself.. Rajveer sir se pyaar mujhe bus dhokha dia….. bus dhoka…… her eyes glare again…. Maine galat admi se pyaar kia….. galti huyi hai mujhse…… she sobs…..

You are so consumed with how much you get

You waste your time with hate and regret..

You are frozen….

When yout heart’s not open…

Rajveer sir aise kaise kar sakte hain??... she asks herself again… maine bhi Rajveer sir ki aankho mein mere liye pyaar dekhi hai….. toh who mujhe aise kaise tod sakte hain?? He loves me na? pooja ne bhi kaha… kyu Rajveer sir ne mujhe yeh sachhai bataya?? Kyun?? Mujhme aur himmat nahi hai….  Agar woh sach me mujhse pyaar karte hai to mujhe aisa tod nahi sakte hain… unka kathor dil… ek baar bhi nahi unhone mere baare mein nahi socha.. Nainas love not letting her believe that Rajveer has betrayed her!

If I could melt your heart……

We would never be apart……..

Two souls who are insanely in love with wach other now burning in the fire of love..