Ehsaas - The Feeling...

Facing the Truth

Baba.......... The single word that escapes her mouth before she hugs him tight and breaks down.... Tears flowing uncontrollable, breath shallow, eye lids shut together...
Her father's condition is no better... He keeps on patting his Gudiyas head lovingly, trying to calm her down.... Tears flowing from his eyes watching his only child in distress... Acute pain.

Ro ley beta..... Jee bharke role.. Apne Dil se in aansu o ka bojh hata se beta... He says.. as he knows very well how introvert her daughter is.. she will choose to accept all pain without uttering a word... And she has done so...

Her changed attitude from the day she arrived Nainital, that too all of a sudden, made something tick his mind.. but he couldn't trace that..
All thanks to the mobile phone that Naina left on the kitchen counter tonight... Noticing that, he came to her room just to hand her that, when he witnessed his only daughter in immense pain and turmoil...

Baba.... Mai aapki achchi beti nahi hoon... Nahi hoon baba..... Says Naina finally leaving him, putting her head on his lap to claim some peace...

Kisne kaha tujhse yeh Naina... Tu to meri sherni hai... He says softly, his hands lovingly caressing her head and forehead...

Baba..... Mujhse ek bohat bara apradh ho Gaya... Ek bohat bari gunah ho gayi baba.... She raises her head looking into his eyes... Tears start making their new ways again, hiccups making it quite difficult for her to breathe...

Handing her a glass of water her father says beta... Pani pee ley pehle.... Making her drink, he says Pehle tu shant hoja.... Ek lambi saans le... Phir bata baat kya hai? Aisa kya hua hai jo tujhe itna pareshan kar Dia...

Following her father's instructions Naina finally speaks up.... Baba... Mujhse ek bohat badi galti ho gayi....
Aur is baat k liye Mai Apne aap Ko Syed kabhi maaf nahi kar Sakti....

Baba maine ek aise Insan se pyaar Kia jisne Naveen bhaiyya Ko humse cheena hai... Jisne Naveen bhaiyya Ko mara hai..

Baba mera Dil ek aise Insan par aaya jo humara gunehgaar hai...
Baba KMA mei main Naveen Bhaiyya k qatil Ko dhundne gayi thi...  Use saza dene gayi thi..

Lekin mujhe pata hi nahi chala baba, kab mujhe us Insan se pyaar Ho Gaya... Kab us qatil Ko Mai apna Dil de baithi...

Aur... Aur aj jab mujhe sab suchchai pata hai baba, kyu mera man karta hai Mai use maaf kar Doon? Kyu Aisa lagta hai apna loon use? Kyu Mai chahkar bhi us Insan Ko saza nahi de parahi hoon?

Aj jab baba mere paas saboot bhi hai us shaks k khilaf, kyu mera Dil kehta hai sab kuch bhula ke uske sath ek nayi shuruwat karoon? Kyu baba?

Kya Naveen bhaiyya k liye mera pyaar itna kamzoor hai?
Baba Mai aapki achchi beti nahi hoon... Mai nahi ek achchi beti ban payi, nahi ek achchi behen..

Baba aj mujhe lagta hai us Insan se zyada bada gunehgaar Mai hoon... Jo sab kuch jaante huye Mai chup baithi hoon us Insan Ko bachane ke liye jisne mujhse mera Naveen Bhaiyya Cheena hai aur aap logo se aapka beta...

Baba Mai jab chahti hoon us Insan Ko saza Doon, kyu unki do aankhe mujhe kamzoor kar deti hai? Kyu Aisa lagta hai k Naveen bhaiyya k Baad Mai us shaks Ko kho nahi Sakti?
Baba Mai achchi beti nahi hoon aapki... Nahi hoon......

Tears start rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably again.....

Naina beta... Rajveer ek bohat hi achcha ladka hai.. Mujhe Khushi hai tune use apna Humsafar Chuna... Her father says holding her shoulders, trying to console her...