letters ➸ a.i au

last letter to toni

august 1

toni,
i just awake from coma, and i don't believe it
i wake up, toni. but you're not around
i hate the fact that i must be awake at midnight
i want to see you, at least for the last time

i'm sorry, toni. but i know my time is coming
i can feel it

but i write this last letter not for whining about it

toni, my sweet toni,
i love you
i just want to tell you that

and even if i'm not awake, i believe that i heard you, toni
i can feel you visit me, and talking to me
so you love me too?
damn, i wish my time hasn't come just yet
but i guess we aren't meant to be
and it's okay
you deserve better, like i always said

so you're getting closer to calum, aye?
he's a good guy, toni. he will treat you right
and i'm more than okay if you two end up together
my best friend, together with the only girl that i ever love
i couldn't be happier :)

toni,
promise me to stay alive
alive, toni. not just existing
don't mourn over me
your life is brighter than mine
don't make it darker because of me

toni,
i know i won't be around you anymore
but i always looking over you from above
always, toni

i love you, toni
i'm sorry i still can't say it to you face to face
but it doesn't mean my love to you will be getting lesser
because toni,
i love you

ashton